herophine - Trouvaille

Chapter 26

Crosby, Liverpool - England, 2026

- You play very good, Sofía. - Josephine praises her. - Here, put on your coat. It's cold and you might get sick. - She smiles and gives it to her.

- Thank you. - She timidly answers with her breathing still agitated from running.

 - You also have a sandwich and a juice, if you want it. - Josephine says while looking inside the backpack that Hero gave her. - Here. 

After forty-five minutes of soccer, Sofía finished her training and walked to where Jo was waiting for her. Now, both of them are waiting on the bleachers for Hero to finish.

There is an awkward silence. Neither of them know how to act or what to say. Jo stares subtly to little girl sitting next to her, who is trying not to eat the hairs that fall over her face from the messy ponytail. Sofía is just staring at the field, where her dad teaches some teens how to play.

This is the closest situation that Jo has been to babysitting Sofía. It is true that Hero is just a few metres away, but they are still alone and Josephine wants to get closer to her daughter.  

- Do you... do you want me to re-do your ponytail? 

Sofía looks up at her with her big blue eyes. Same genes facing one another. She doesn't answer, but after putting inside her mouth the last piece of sandwich, she puts her hands on the ponytail and tries to take out the rubberband.

- Let me help you. - Josephine says softly. She undoes the ponytail and then starts combing her long-straight blonde hair. Sofía's hair is much blonder than Josephine's, probably that tone was inherithed from other relatives. A couple of minutes later, she easily manages to put her hair into a tall ponytail and afterwards they go back to the same awkward position they were before.

- Up on the housetop reindeer pause... - Jo suddlenly starts hearing Sofía, who is whispering a song. - Out jumps good ol' Santa Claus. 

The girl stops singing without taking her sight off the field, and tries to remember how the lyrics continue. By her face, Josephine bets that she is struggling to sing the words and that she doesn't remember it. Luckily, Josephine knows the carol.

- Down through the chimney with lots of toys. - Jo decides to help her. Sofía stares at her amazed, and a tiny dimple appear on her cheeks. - All for the little ones' Christmas joys.

It is the first time that Josephine sees her smile, and even though it is the smallest of the smiles, she is in love with it.

- You know the song? - Sofía asks and Jo nods.

- I used to sing it with my parents and my sister when it was Christmas. - She explains. - Is this the song you will be singing at school? 

- Yes, but I always forget my lines. - She pouts.

- Maybe... I could help you learn it before the performance.  - Jo suggests. This is also the first time that Sofía talks to her without having Hero as their mediator. 

The little girl nods and smiles again. The little girl nods and smiles again. A few seconds later, she frowns her eyebrows the same way that Hero does when something concerns him.

- Where are your parents? - She finally asks, taking Josephine by surprise.

- Um... they don't live here. They are in Australia. 

- Oh. - Sofía doesn't know where Australia is, however she is smart enough to know that they are very far away. - Are you sad because they aren't here for Christmas? 

Josephine is not very experienced on establishing a conversation with six-year old children, but she makes an effort to find the correct words. Mother and daughter need to find their own language.

- Yes, I am. - She finally answers, before adding. - And also, because they are not here to meet you.

- Why? 

Once more Josephine debates with herself if she should find a softer truth for a small girl, but she promised she would always be honest with Sofía.

- Because I never told them that you were born. 

- Why? - As a six-year old, Sofía can't avoid asking more and more. Nevertheless, she is a very mature and smart little girl. Her brain is trying to process all the information that Jo is telling her, at the same time that is trying to make the connections needed about the relationship that joins her with Josephine's parents. Sofía is very mature and smart. Josephine's parents might be her grandparents, just like her grammy Martha. 

- Because I was scared that they would get very angry at me. - She whispers. 

Her answer sounds a bit childish just like that, but it is the truth. Apart from the depression, maybe it also affected the fear that Josephine had to dissapoint her parents.

- Angry because I was born? - Again, the question shows how mature Sofía is. For a moment the roles have changed, Sofía is the mother versus the child Josephine who has made a mistake.

Josephine thinks that talking about the feelings of rejection she felt when she was depressed, is an unneccesary cruelty with a little girl. But, she feels like she needs to justify her parents, because although she didn't think it that way, deep inside she knows that her parents would have never left Sofía aside.

- No. - She denies with her head, always keeping her sight in Sofía. - They would get angry because I left you. - She sighs after admitting it.

Jo stares at Sofía, who carefully processes the information. Sofía can understand the situation and identify with Josephine just because of how childish was Jo's reaction: Jo was scared that her parents would get very angry, just like Sofía sometimes hides some things scared that her daddy gets angry with her.

With that recent confession, Sofía's wound starts healing slowly.