Before you start reading, here's a warning that this chapter contains sensitive content. It revolves around a possibly triggering subject, however, it does not go into any details. Please, if this makes you uncomfortable even in the slightest, do not read below the lines.
And, if anyone struggles with this type of stuff, please feel free to message me if you ever need someone to turn to. I'm here for you, each and every single one of you. You matter to me. 🤍
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖You felt relieved to find the house empty when you arrived home from your university classes.
Your mind was a mess right now as echoes of the degrading and terrible names from your cruel classmates continued to replay through it. Their words were harsh, cutting like knives through your aching and fragile heart.
You dragged your feet up the stairs and into the bathroom. You didn't recognize yourself as you looked into the mirror, and that was a painful thought.
You took a seat on the floor. You felt the cold hardwood against your thighs. You pulled your knees to your chest and rocked yourself as you let a couple of tears fall down your cheeks.
It's been a rough week filled with this constant and relentless pain inflicted by these people who seemed to hate your guts for whatever reason. You're tired. You feel worthless. The worst names one could imagine have been thrown at you this last week and now, you're believing them.
You can't handle anymore of this. You still have years to go before you finish your course... years left of this pain was too unbearable for you.
You didn't want to hurt anymore.
You stood up and walked to the cabinet, where you reached for the pills in the unopened bottle. Your legs shook under you with every step you took. You had a tear running down your cheek, a lump in your throat.
You poured some into your hand, but before you could do anything, the door swung open and Jennie appeared.
She was smiling at first but you watched it fade faster than ever before.
You were both frozen for a moment, staring at each other in shock. But it all sank in quickly for Jennie and she was rushing to you. She took them out of your grip and threw the pills into the toilet before she flushed it and fell into the floor, where she quickly pulled you into her secure embrace.
"Did you take any? Do I need to call someone?" She asked worriedly, only to feel a little relief when you shook your head in response.
She stared at you in disbelief. Her eyes swam with tears and you felt yours quickly do the same.
"I don't understand. Why would you even think about doing that?" She whimpered and reached over to cup your cheek as your lower lip wobbled.
"I'm tired." You whispered. "I can't take it anymore."
She was confused but she instinctively pulled you to her chest, allowing for your tears to soak through her shirt.
"My classmates keep bullying me. They're saying really mean stuff. They won't stop." You cried. "I don't know how much more I can take, Jennie,"
She blinked away her tears and bit her lip to keep the sob threatening to escape.
"That's why I'm here." She whispered softly. "I've got you, baby. Through the good and the bad. When things are hard, when you're at your weakest and your darkest, you come to me."
You just sniffled as you fell apart, letting go of the pain and tears you've kept inside.
"How long has this been going on?"
"A few weeks, but it got unbearably bad this week. It's like they hate me, Jen. They treat me like I'm dirt on the ground. Like I'm nothing. Like I'm worthless and that the world would be better without m-"
She didn't let you finish that sentence. She quickly pulled you up, hands gently cupping your damp cheeks.
"Don't say that. Don't ever say that. This world would be horrible without you in it. My world would just fall apart." She spoke as she gave up on holding back her tears. "You're my world. Do you know how empty, how boring and dark everything would be?"
You shook your head.
"You make everything better. Every bad day I have is always made better because of you. You have the most beautiful laugh, the sweetest smile, the biggest heart. Losing you would be the worst pain I could ever feel. I couldn't get through what I go through without you by my side."
You sniffled and dropped your forehead against hers.
"You deserve so much better than that. It breaks my heart to know that people are bringing you down, saying things that make you feel so bad about yourself. I know it's hard to hear over all the noise, but you know I've always got you. Right? Through it all, even when you feel as though the entire world is against you and you have nothing, you always have me."
"I know." You whispered.
"I will make things better. We will find a way for this to stop. We will work through it all, every step, together. But I need you to hang on for me. I need you to trust me. I need you to stay because I need you more than anything else. Please, don't hurt yourself."
You crawled into her lap and threw your arms around her with a shaky breath.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you-"
"Shh." She shushed softly. "Don't worry about that. No more sorry's. Just let me hold you. Let me keep you safe."
You nodded and closed your eyes, feeling safe in her arms. You felt the weight of the world lift from your shoulders, felt like you belonged somewhere.
And you do. You'll always belong. You'll always matter. And if you ever forget that, if you ever feel otherwise, Jennie will always be there to hold you and remind you otherwise.
"Everything will be okay." She whispered. "I love you. I'll always love you. Whatever lies ahead of us, we will work through it all together. Okay?"
You pulled away, taking her hand into yours and wrapping your pinky finger around hers, making her heart melt.
"You deserve the world." She said, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. "But the world doesn't deserve you, my love. You're a bright light, a ray of sunshine. Those people are too jealous, too bitter, too lame to see. But I see it. I love you. Always have, always will."
"Love you." You whispered and kissed her before moving your face into her neck. "Don't let go."
"Never." She promised. "We're gonna get through this. I won't ever let go."
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