I'm always here (requested)

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Author's note: before you go any further, this chapter contains possibly triggering content.

It revolves around self-harm although it does not go into detail very much at all.

I tried my best to keep it from being too triggering but I know that this content can be hard to read for some.

If this chapter makes you uncomfortable, please don't read it.

Another chapter will be up shortly.

Feel free to read my other updates or my other chapters in the meantime if that makes you more comfortable.

Also, a reminder that my messages are always open.

Even though I'm going through a rough time at the moment, I am trying my very best to keep up with you all and try to reply to your private messages, comments, and posts on my message board. I don't judge and I'm always here to listen if any of you need to get anything off of your chest and talk to somebody.

I love you all and hope that if you do read this, please keep safe and enjoy.

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You jumped when you heard the front door closing and the sound of your girlfriend's voice as she called out your name.

Through the blur of your tears, you tossed your blade and tried to find a way to stop the slight amount of blood that was coming out from the cut on your wrist.

"Y/N?" Jennie knocked on the bathroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, baby. I'm home."

You could hear the happiness in her voice and it only made your heart sink deeper in your chest, knowing that if she sees the cut on your skin that'll surely change and turn into sadness and hurt.

The door began to open as you searched around for the first aid kit, hoping you could find something in there to cover up your cut and make the blood stop so she hopefully wouldn't notice what you'd done.

"Wait, no! Don't come in!" You yelled and watched her close the door that had only opened a crack before you spoke.

"What? Why not, my love?"

"I-I'm going to shower." You said and heard her laugh from outside.

"Okay. Well, we've been together for so long we've done that together. Don't think there's a reason for you to get all shy or worried about me coming in during that."

Before you could say anything, the door opened again and this time all the way.

There was a bright smile on her face when your eyes locked in the mirror but as she stepped closer you watched it fade as she saw the blood on your skin.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay? What happened?" She asked as she gently took your wrist into her hand.

She grabbed a towel and put it over your cut and by the look in your eyes, she knew exactly where the cut had come from. She saw the guilt and the sadness in your eyes. You couldn't hide or deny it.

"You did this to yourself? On purpose?"

You slowly nodded your head.

"Oh, baby. Why?"

"Because I don't feel good enough." You spoke as tears filled your eyes.

"I wasn't just talking about the cut, y/n. I meant why wouldn't you come to me? Why didn't you call me or text me when you were having thoughts of doing this? Baby, you hurt yourself! Thankfully, it's not bad. But it could've been a lot worse. That's a scary thought!"

Your lower lip trembled and your eyes closed, a tear falling down your cheek as she kissed your forehead.

"Uf I hadn't come home right now, would you have told me about this?"

You shook your head and she sighed before laying her forehead on your shoulder, softly kissing your skin in comfort.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No." She quickly pulled away to look  into your eyes. "No, baby, never. I'm not mad nor would I ever be mad about something like this. What I am is sad and afraid. I hate that you feel so ashamed of yourself that you hurt yourself and I'm afraid you'll do it again and it'll be worse."

You sniffled and met her sad eyes as she lifted them from your wrist, which had thankfully stopped bleeding.

"Y/N, please don't do this to yourself again." She pleaded. "I love you so much. I'm sorry there are people on the internet that are full of hatred and jealousy and they take it out on others. You do not deserve that. No one does. But I don't want you to hurt yourself over it."

You nodded as she put her forehead on yours.

"I will do whatever I can to try and make this stop or at least quiet down a little. I'll threaten legal action if I can. I'll speak out, I'll tell the company, I'll tell the girls that we have to do something to try and put a stop to this and let people know that their words hurt. I will do anything if it means that you don't harm yourself. Because, baby girl, I need you and I think you're perfect just as you are, and knowing that you hurt yourself breaks my heart."

"I'm sorry, Jen."

"No, don't apologize. You don't have to be sorry for anything. I just want to try and make things better, if you tell me how."

You didn't say a word. You just put your arms around her to hug her close and she closed her eyes, a breath of relief falling from her lips before she held you tightly.

"Please come to me if you ever feel this way again. If not me, if you can't for any reason or if you just can't get ahold of me, you get through to one of the girls. They'll help you and they'll be sure to let me know."

"Okay. I will but I'll try my hardest not to do this again. I promise."

She brushed her fingers across your back.

"I'm always here for you. I will always help you in any way that I can. I swear, my love." She spoke as she held you close, no intention of pulling away any time soon. "Can I do anything to help right now?"

"You're already helping. You're here, that's all I need. Just  keep holding me."

She smiled to herself and kissed your head softly.

"Okay. I won't let you go, I promise." She said as she kissed your head once more. "I'm not going anywhere."

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