never again (requested)

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Jennie fell onto the sofa beside you with a long and heavy sigh. Fresh out of the shower, she ran the towel through her long locks. She looked cozy in her comfiest clothes and you wanted nothing more than to hug her close.

But you were hesitant to. Because only thirty minutes ago she arrived home. You knew she was home when she slammed the door behind her and grumbled under her breath while climbing up the stairs as fast as her feet would carry her. Another slam of the door had followed and you didn't dare go to investigate. You figured she'd had a hard day and she'd be feeling better soon.

It seemed that the shower had calmed her down. But the atmosphere was tense. You haven't' said a word to each other since she arrived home and you didn't know how to break the silence.

"Jen?" You muttered quietly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." She replied simply.

"You don't seem fine." You spoke hesitantly, biting your lip nervously. "Did I do something wrong? Or did you have a bad day? You can talk to me if you want,"

"Okay, y/n!" She spoke, voice much louder than usual. "I get it. I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

You were taken aback. She's never spoken to you that way. Usually, she's all smiles and giving you love and hugs as soon as she walks through the door. Never once has she raised her voice at you. You didn't know why and in the midst of your shock and confusion, you spoke again.

"I didn't do anything to you."

"You're being annoying!" She said as she folded her arms. "If I say I don't want to talk about my day, then leave me alone."

"What is your problem?" You asked angrily. "You don't talk to me this way. You never have before and you shouldn't start now when I'm simply trying to be here for you."

She tugged at her hair in frustration before standing up and scoffed.

"Can't you see that I've had a bad enough day already? I don't need this, y/n! You're only making me feel worse!"

"Well then maybe you should just go stay with Jisoo or something!"

"Fine, I will." She replied quickly before standing up and going to slide on her shoes.

You tried swallowing the growing lump in your throat, but it was nearly impossible.

"And don't expect me to be back for a while!"

"You're not coming back?" You asked worriedly, heart hammering against your chest. "I didn't mean," you mumbled, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. "I don't know what I did wrong. I just said that because I was frustrated. I don't want you to really leave!"

Jennie's eyes were going wide as she watched you tug your knees to your chest. She could hear your breathing pick up, becoming unsteady. You were starting to have a panic attack. She's been by your side through them before, she knows how they begin and she knows how intense they become.

Suddenly, everything faded away. Her shoes fell out of her hands, her bad day completely slipped her mind. She raced to you, kneeling on the floor in front of you and taking ahold of your hands.

"Hey, baby. I'm here. I'm right here. Just take some deep breaths for me."

"I can't. I can't breathe."

Your hands were shaking in hers. She bit down on her lip, feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt for throwing you into this state.

"I'm right here." She spoke, although her voice was shaky. "Just listen to my voice. Focus on me. I'm here and I won't let you go."

You squeezed your eyes shut and started to take deep breaths, finding it more comforting since she was taking deep breaths with you.

"Don't go, Jen."

"I'm not." She said quickly, squeezing your hands reassuringly. "I'm not going anywhere, my love."

"But you said-"

"I said a lot of stupid stuff a few minutes ago. I was so stupid for saying what I say and I'm so sorry. But," she paused, sniffling as the guilt began to overwhelm her, bringing tears to her eyes. "You and I both know if I walked out that door, I'd be walking right back inside. You know I can hardly leave you for a day and I struggle every day I'm without you on tour. I'd never be able to leave you without coming right back."

You loosened your grip on her, breathing out a heavy sigh as the panic attack began to ease.

"I'm so sorry for what I said. I haven't been sleeping much lately. I've been losing my focus, which is why my day was bad. I messed up a lot and I got into some trouble for it. I haven't been thinking straight. I had a terrible day and I took it out on you and that is not okay, that'll never be okay." She kicked herself mentally, wishing she could take back every word she said. "You make my days better, not worse. I promise you that. I love you and I'm so sorry, I promise I'll never speak to you that way again."

You crawled into her lap, throwing your arms around her to hold her tight.

"You better not. Because next time, I'm gonna be the one walking out that door."

She laughed and buried her lips in your hair, kissing your head a countless amount of times.

"You'll never have to worry about that because this is never gonna happen again. I love you."

"Love you too." You said as you held each other tightly, refusing to let go.

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