𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐖, rini

deux

AFTERGLOW
chapter two

🕊

family.

god she wished she had the time to pull out her phone and snap a picture right then and there. the look on his face when she said that, the way his eyes soften up and he gave out a small smile. she'd do anything just to never see him stop smiling like that.

the last few days had been nothing but tiring and full of surprises. surprises that she really wasn't too fond of to be honest. from finding out about how miss jenn lied on her job application which leads to confrontation with the school board, ej trying to comfort her which somehow made her feel even worse, to ricky serenading gina of all people, and in the end getting miss jenn her job back.

oh and how could she forget about the fact ricky and gina was a lot cozier than the way she saw them last time. he picked her up and twirled her around. twirled. her. around. nini is most definitely not jealous. she isn't. she definitely does not have the need to slam her bedroom door and scream into her pillow and eat as much ice cream as she can. she doesn't. because she has no reason to be jealous, ricky isn't hers anymore.

even if the look ej gave her says otherwise. oh he knows. he fucking knows and it's driving her crazy. because for once, ej seems to be understanding the situation better than she does even though this was more about her feelings rather than his. she's losing her control and she doesn't like that.

she tried to reason with her mind. reminding herself that maybe they just got caught up in the heat of the celebratory moment. but it wasn't likely, right? no stop. i can't just assume shit that i don't know.

nini had tried to sleep it all off. the painful memories, the condescending thoughts, but every time she closes her eyes all she could see was ricky's smile. the smile that was on his face when he twirled gina around, the same smile she used to witness almost every single day of her life, until the day she couldn't.

with a frustrated groan, nini pulled herself up from her bed and started heading towards to where her phone was sitting. she picked up her phone, hesitating on whether or not she should dial kourtney so she could handle this mess. her mess. she decided against that in the end, and continued to open her gallery app, scrolling further upwards to see previous photos, memories to be exact that she wished she could live through once again.

she never even realized how much her phone is filled with pictures of her, ricky, kourtney, and big red until she went through all of it. the way it could be just a picture of the four of them or just her and ricky or silly pictures of ricky, kourtney and big red whenever they stole her phone when they think she wasn't looking. pictures of when things seemed much simpler, when all four of them could hangout and have fun without a care in the world.

so what went wrong? what happened to them? oh yeah, her and ricky happened.

she never noticed it before. how it all changed when she and ricky started dating, and then broke up later on. the way the four of them used to be inseparable, they did almost everything together. but then it was clear after she and ricky broke up, it wasn't only them but the whole group as well.

when did we stopped hanging out with big red? oh yeah, after she and ricky broke up. it was apparent that big red stayed with the person he was closer with and that person was ricky, kourtney of course did the same thing with nini. it's like they went their separate ways with the side they choose.

god is this all my fault?

she didn't even realize until now, that by stopping almost every contact she had with ricky also means ending ties with big red as well, who was one of her and kourtney's best friend's. was. that stung. she could've prevented it, she could've reached out, or maybe even at least try to talk to him. but since she was so adamant on avoiding ricky, she unintentionally avoids big red as well.

"fuck," she muttered to herself as the realization dawns on her.

"i fucked up, i fucked up, i fucked up, if fucked up."

..⃗.🕊•̩̩͙⁺゜

"neens! i got your text, is everything okay?" kourtney asked after she had burst into nini's room.

nini groaned, "yes? no? maybe? i don't even know anymore."

"you can start by telling me what the hell are you going through right now," kourtney said as she laid down beside nini.

"i feel like everything is falling apart and i didn't even realize that it was until now and now i'm just stuck,"

"is this about miss jenn? or is it about ej admitting about the deviled egg? are you still feeling as if you don't deserve the lead? neens, is that it?" kourtney asked expectantly.

nini bit her lips. "no. it's not about that. while maybe i still have self deprecating thoughts about it, it's not that this time."

kourtney furrowed her eyebrows, "then what?"

nini sighed, "kourtney, it's about us."

"us?"

"yes us, or what used to be or maybe what's left of it."

"nini, i don't understand what you're saying."

"you, me, ricky, and big red."

"oh." oh indeed.

nini can see the way guilt washed over kourtney's face, and the way her breath hitched a little as she said their names.

"that 'us' huh."