Body Language (MewGulf AU)

🌻Chapter 34

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After that, he didn't remember where he went. When he came to, he realized it was already six o'clock, and his mind reminded him about getting back.

'I have to get back. Mew is going to be home.'

'I can tell him I went out and just ask about it.'

But just thinking about it, he knew that he wouldn't be able to do it. He had watched from a distance. But he didn't remember anything after that.

"I was going to get some beer...and toilet paper..."

He wanted to break into floods of tears. He didn't care if people saw. He didn't care what people thought. He just wanted to cry and let everything out.

Even though he had know that it was going to happen in the end, nothing could prepare him for the feeling of heartbreak.

'I thought he only wanted me.'

They had been together everyday so he had believed that Mew had only wanted him.

Even if they had to break up sometime, it hurt to see Mew cheating on him.

"I'm such an idiot..."

The tears wouldn't come. He wanted to, but he just couldn't cry.

However upset he was, however painful things were, he had never cried. He didn't plan to cry now either.

"You have a feminine face, so you can't cry and make everyone think you're a fool."

His strong-willed mother had always told him that.

He looked weak on the outside, but he was strong inside. He was her child. His mother was so proud of him for it.

When he lost in an argument, she wouldn't let him in the house. If he cried she would tease him for being a girl and not make dinner until he had stopped.

So however painful, however sad things got, he had learned not to cry.

He didn't want to be a girly crybaby.

'Surely I can cry now?'

'My heart hurts. It hurts so bad.'

When that pain reached his eyes, the tears were going to come flooding.

Mew should have been at home or at school. Gulf didn't know what Mew had been doing here. They had always been together at every available opportunity, so he was pretty sure that there was no one else in Mew's life.

Gulf had thought that Mew had class, but then again, Mew was well practiced at ditching.

Gulf wondered how long Mew had been meeting upbwith that girl.

How many times in the past two months?

He didn't feel like he'd been betrayed or cheated on.

He was just sad.

So terribly sad. He felt like his heart had been ripped in two.

In the past, he didn't mind being alone.

That was before they had been dating. When Mew had been playing around. When Mew had always had a girl.

He hadn't been confused then.

But now...

"Why is he so greedy..."

'Why can't he be happy with me?'

'Why does he have to have other people?"

'Couldn't I satisfy him enough in bed?'

'Is he bored already?'

'Does he want to end things?'

Questions he wanted to say but couldn't flooded into his mind.

'How could I have come to think that he was mine alone?'

"You're so cute " Mew had told him softly.

Maybe they'd gone to a hotel.

Maybe all the sweet words Mew used with him were now being used on her.

Mew had told him he was sexy, and teased him so much.

'Did he make love to her in the same way?'

The tears threatened to come but he swallowed them back.

He wasn't going to cry for Mew.

TBC

A/N: Possessive Gulfie.