Torn

Chapter 49

Annie's POV

Demi is making breakfast. Marissa is sitting beside me scrolling on her phone. Wilmer is coming over later. Buddy is running all over the kitchen. The TV is playing in the back. Music is coming from Mars phone.

Everything is normal.

Except we all know it's not.

If all of this was happening a month ago, I would be smiling and laughing along. If this was a month ago, I would be scrolling on my phone and taking snapchats of us and putting them on my story. If this was a month ago, I would be excited to eat whatever Demi was making. If this was a month ago, I would be happy.

But, it's not a month ago. It's now. I'm not smiling or laughing along. I'm not scrolling on my phone.. I haven't even touched my phone for five days now. I'm not excited to eat. I'm not happy. For the first time I'm not looking forward to the future because I'm absolutely terrified.

Shits weird. The tension could be sliced in half with a knife. I'm thinking about the "eating disorder", I'm thinking about my stomach, and I'm thinking about being depressed and I know Marissa and Demi are too. I wish they would just say something about it and get it over with.

"Breakfast is ready." Demi said, sliding a plate in front of me and Marissa.

I don't want to do this. I don't want to keep supplying my body with food that's only going to make me fatter. I don't want to eat anything. I just want to let myself slowly decease.

Instead, I took the fork and stabbed a piece of egg and popped it in my mouth. I will admit, I'm putting all my strength in to not gag. It's awkward as hell because I know they're watching me. They're waiting for me to freak the fuck out but it's not going to happen.

I casually looked up at Demi and she was slumped against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. She didn't look angry like she has been, or sad. She just looks exhausted.

After a minute or two, I looked down at my plate and realized I devoured it all. It was my first meal in days, and surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be.

I rose from the seat and walked over to the sink, placing my fork and plate next to some dirty dishes. I glanced over at Demi, who was in the same position. The bags under her eyes were more than obvious and I couldn't help but want to cry because I know I'm the cause of her looking and feeling like this.

I haven't had a proper hug or kiss on the head in what seems like forever. So, I walked over to Demi. At first, she looked kind of surprised and she stared at me waiting for me to say something.

I slowly grabbed her forearms and uncrossed her arms. I then wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her chest. OH MY GOSH. I've missed this so much. The feeling of her squeezing me back and the sound of her beating heart makes me feel so much better. I felt her running her fingers through my hair and then planting a kiss on top of my head.

Eventually, we both pulled away at the same time and all I wanted to do was hug her again. Last night on the couch she slept beside me, but she gave me space which was unlike her. So that hug made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

I realized that I had the strength to move form the couch in here with no struggle. I actually feel a lot better, physically.

"Much better." I half smiled.

"Are you weak?" She questioned.

"I'm achy but I'm not weak. I can move just fine." I said.