Torn

Chapter Ten

Demi's POV

I locked my phone and sat it on the bedside table and then looked over at Annie who was cuddled up to me, sleeping peacefully.

It was days like these that I was extra grateful for Annie. She may only be thirteen, but she's very wise. She's literally my best friend and I honestly have no idea where I would be without her. She was here for me today during my random breakdowns, laughs, worries, and cries.

I'm mostly upset, distraught, because Wilmer touched my baby girl and because he didn't tell me. He most definitely shouldn't have even talked to her, let alone go that far. I feel like a terrible mother for not knowing or finding a way to stop it. I knew how jealous Wilmer was and I kind of liked it because of how much attention I was getting from him.

But no matter what happens, Annie will always be my number one priority and I would go above and beyond for her. I would literally be okay with just spending everyday with just me and her and no one else. She means the world to me.

Another reason I'm upset, is because I have no idea where this is putting me and Wilmer's relationship. He's called, texted, and left voicemails but I haven't read or listened to any of them. I haven't told Annie yet, but I got so mad and punched him above the eye and he had to go get stitches. I don't feel the least bit guilty.

But then again, what is my life going to be like now? Just me and Annie? Marissa? Do I start a new project? Wilmer has been with me a lot lately.. It just doesn't make sense. I don't know how I'm supposed to forgive someone who purposely touched my daughter in an abusive way.

I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life. I don't want to be with anyone but Wilmer and I don't even want to be with Wilmer right now. But then again I do. I would be a terrible mother to just forgive him on the spot, right? I don't know what to do. This isn't fare. And I know exactly how to fix it. Temporarily.

Annie is thirteen and she's more mature than some teenagers, young adults, so I can leave her home alone for a half hour, right? And, just a bottle tonight can't effect my recovery, right? It will be like nothing ever happened.

I slid out of bed and put on some flip flops before walking downstairs. I lazily grabbed my keys off the kitchen counter, then made sure I locked the door on my way out.

Why am I doing this? How many people am I going to disappoint? But who am I doing this for? Me.

I slid the key into the ignition and took one last look at my phone and saw my wallpaper. Me and Annie. Annie. Why would I let her down? I have a daughter now. I have bigger priorities. Despite the feeling in my gut telling me to go back inside where my whole life is laying in my bed, I shut my phone off, fought the feeling, and drove my way to the liquor store.

•••

I'm not even sure what I bought. I told the girl behind the counter to give me a whole bottle or two of the strongest stuff they had. It's now sitting beside me, unopened, in a paper bag on the passenger seat. It's almost 3:30 a.m, and I just feel.. Tired. Exhausted. Sad. Lonely.

I pulled in the house and grabbed the paper bag before walking up to my front door. I opened it, and slowly shut it. Then, I started tip toeing to the kitchen where I will drink my sorrow away.

I was almost there when the kitchen light flickered on. "Mom?"

It took me a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the light, and I saw Annie standing there. She looked absolutely terrified; scared. As if, that's all it took, my sudden need for alcohol washed away. Seeing my daughter, I guess, snapped me back to reality. And I'm holding two bottles of probably over expensive shit that I'm not going to drink.