Torn

Chapter 29

Filler filler filler

Demi's POV

"It's like I'm speaking fucking China to you people!" I spat through my teeth.

"Well, first offs, it's Chinese not China," Caroline states, clearly annoyed, "and two were just trying to help you. That's what you wanted and that's what we wanted to do, so calm down,"

I looked around my dressing room at Caroline, Holly, and Jill. It's like an intervention. Okay, yes, I wanted them to talk through things with me because obviously I don't have a therapist on the road with me.

Annie called me bawling a few hours ago begging me to come home and it literally shattered my heart into tiny pieces. Now, I don't know what's worse; her ignoring me like she did the first couple days or her sobbing and pleading to just be with me.

"I.. I can't do this anymore," I said, staring down at my hands and I pictured Wilmer's slipping into them, his thumb caressing the back of my hand, "I don't think I can go much longer without Wilmer or Annie.."

"Oh good lord," Holly muttered under her breath.

"Again, you literally have three days left!" Jill said, "Do you not think I miss my kid when I'm on tour with you? He doesnt even come with me! I have to go months sometimes without hugging him or tucking him in to say goodnight! So, hell yeah, call me crazy but if I can go months you sure as hell can go three fucking days!"

I felt guilty and embarrassed. I.. Feel horrible. I should've put in Jill's perspective, but I didn't. This doesn't change anything expect the fast I have a huge brick on my chest.

"Jill, I'm sorry I-"

"Actually, I don't think I'm doing much help and I'm going to go get something to eat,"
Jill muttered, starting for the door.

"Wait, Jill-"

"No," she slightly laughed, "If I stayed we all know I'd say something I shouldn't,"

With that, I let her go. What would she have said? What could she have possibly said to make me so pissed off?

"Listen, Demi, some moms would love to just get away from their kids for a while. What's going on is a dream come true for some people," Caroline said.

I scoffed, "Its definitely not mine. It's a nightmare,"

Holly cleared her throat and stood up, "Okay, here's my final thought about this for today. I think I speak for all of us, including Jill, when I say we all love Annie like she's our own. She's the most beautiful, kind hearted, and free spirited person ever. Like, ever ever. She's my tour buddy and I honestly have no idea what I'd do without her. But there comes a time for family and there comes a time for work. You need to know when to push family to the back of your head and work."

Oh my gosh obviously she doesn't get it. I'm so done trying to explain it to them how I feel. No one understands and I feel so alone.

"I'm done. Thanks for the therapy session guys," I replied sarcastically.

I heard Holly and Jill sigh and basically felt them rolling their eyes as I walked out of the room. Maybe some exercise and a few laps around the arena will get my mind off of everything.

Annie's POV

Is there a name for a fear of constantly being scared or unsafe when a certain person isn't with you? If there isn't, I'm coming up with one. Fuck it.

I'm so scared of jinxing stuff. Im scared that if I keep telling myself Demi is coming home soon, she wont. Like something bad will happen to her. So, I keep telling myself negative stuff so she'll come home. I'm not sure if there's a name for that phobia, though.