Without Words

39- Peace

They were trying to put me in some room and run some tests but I wanted to see Noah. Limping, I insistently told them I would check on him first, Matt and Dan trailing behind me. Just as we entered the hospital, I saw mom running frantically over to us. Devon and Claudia were beside her.

"Oh my goodness, what happened?" She held out my bruised cheek tenderly on one hand and the other on Matt's shoulder. "They did these to you?" Controlling her tears, she checked over our injuries meticulously. From all the blood and possibly numerous broken bones, she couldn't even hug us.

Claudia was equally fawning over Dan, who also has a broken shoulder like I do. From the corner of the ER, I saw Declan talking furiously to the police, his voice raising and a few curse words coming out of him. I have never heard or seen him like this. He made a gesture to his dad and Devon quickly went over to him.

"Mom." I croaked, my voice sounding different. "Noah... shot... so much blood and--" I felt an intense burn when I tried to spew more words. I touched my throat and flinched, almost forgetting that Richard almost choked me to death.

"Shh. They took him to surgery. He's at OR 2 and I personally can vouch that Dr. Gilbert will do everything he can to save him."

I wasn't satisfied but knew there isn't anything I could do at the moment. The adrenaline was wearing off and I could now feel every bit of pain all over my body.

"Let the other doctors take care of you okay?" Mom said tenderly, signaling the nurses and staff. I was put on a wheelchair and led to another room. "We need to get you stitched up. Leave everything to us. You've done enough, let us handle it from here."

A sudden a loud ring came from the hospital overhead speakers and everyone stopped.

"Code Blue in OR 2." The announcement rang loudly. "Code Blue in OR 2."

That's where Noah is.

I don't know why. I know I couldn't do anything but I just panicked. I tried to get up from the wheelchair and called Noah's name. The nurses struggled to contain me but I couldn't help myself. It felt like I had to be with him, to be there for him. Unlike Violet who was alone, I wanted to be there with Noah. I cried and cried until I could no longer see from the tears, no voice coming out as I called for my friend's name.

Noah, he's not a talker, rarely shows emotion but he seeks company, friends- connection. He never wanted to be alone. All he wanted was a family, people who will love him unconditionally and care for him without needing words. He didn't deserve any of this. I tried standing up, wailing and screaming his name, even when no voice comes out of me anymore, I still called for him. I promised him he wouldn't be alone this time.

"Dr. Forbes?" I heard one of the nurses ask mom.

With her eyes red from tears, mom nodded and turned her gaze softly at me. "Get some rest, Eliza."

I felt a needle being poked in my arm and before I knew it, darkness consumed me.

..............................

A month later

This is already the second time I visited the cemetery this year. I hoped it would be the last. I gazed down at the bouquet of white and violet gardenias on the gravestone, my gaze lingering on flowers for a while as I stifled back my tears. Dan had his good arm around me, supporting me. Matt was on my other side, with his leg crutches. We must have looked like a sad bunch, standing over the tombstone, with cast, bandages and bruises all over us. The injuries were worse than we realized and we stayed in the hospital for three weeks. For now, we have meticulous follow up checkups and schedules for rehabilitation. Poor Dan had to celebrate his birthday on a hospital bed.

As I read the name on the tombstone, I couldn't help but cry. I snuggled on Dan's shoulder as quiet sobs escaped me. It's unfair. Everything was so unfair. No one deserved to suffer through so much pain alone. There were five of us; the Fortress has always been the five of us together, growing up and learning, loving and being loved by each other. Now, we stand here together, mourning for the life she was deprived off and the family that left her.

Violet Celine Page

Loved and remembered.

"Do you think she's finally at peace?" Noah asked softly as he stayed kneeling in front of the tombstone.

My eyes fell on the four of us. We were all battered, bruised and have been carrying our own pain and baggage for the past years. Our childhood was bright, filled with innocence and simplicity; but then, it started getting darker, lonelier until we were left all on our own, without the persons we have relied on for so long- our constants. It wasn't because we needed or depended on each other too much; it was simply the fact that the connection we made became engrained in each of us. It became a part of us that when ripped away, it left a hole, leaving us to seek that same connection with others but not quite finding it. 'Friends' was too shallow a word to describe our connection, family isn't the right term either.

We are each other's Fortress.

One of the projects Professor Sybil had asked me before was to portray emotions on a human subject. The painting I submitted is now hanging proudly at my studio. The five of us, Matt, Dan, Noah, Violet and me, with big smiles painted on our faces, sitting contently with a colorful meadow as our backdrop. Five kids filled of light and pure happiness, gathered together and content with each other's company. Then I started mashing the colors, over imposing our kid versions with our growing selves, manipulating the light as I showed the passage of time, portraying age as well as our different emotions at that stage of our lives. We were happy, then sad, miserable until finally the light went back and we felt peace. At the last stage, the four of us were brighter than our kid versions, and Violet's last image is her fifteen year old self, staring at us from above, filled of so much love and pride as she watches over us. The whole painting was an interplay of color and light, portraying emotions and feelings through the different hues and shades. But regardless of the differences, it remained one picture. All the lightness, darkness, colors, shades, emotions, smiles, tears, misery- it's all part of one picture. All of it belonged in our story.

A year ago, I was the estranged daughter, hated by my own mother and brother, and insisted that my father's love was enough for me. But what I wanted was my whole family, I wanted to come home and be reunited with them. I deprived myself of that wish because I wanted something stable, a choice where a few people would get hurt. I thought I was being brave, but I was just being a coward, a glorified martyr who selfishly chose the easy way out.

A year ago, Matt hated me and dad. He exchanged hurtful words with me, refusing to see me as his sister or even mourn for his own father's death. My return reminded him of the pain our absence caused and the responsibility forced upon him at a young age. A kid full of hatred and animosity for his own family, living and believing on lies, caught up between another person's fight.

A year ago, Dan was the lonely boy, closed off from other people and seeking the connection he once shared with his best friend, his soulmate. He was secure in the path he believed to be right, but at the crossroad, he hesitated. Doubts filling him as he started to realize he was lost for too long. It was time to fight for his true happiness, to make the choice he would fight and live for. What other expects and what you want are different things. The easy path isn't always the right path.

A year ago, Noah was the victim, a broken boy who was hurt and abused all throughout his life. Begging for things that should have been given freely to him; staying silent as he begged for help and people around just ignored him.

Now, the four of us found closure on our stories. We aren't totally healed, but there is hope and that's what is most important. We have gone through our own versions of hardships but found the strength to stand on our own. And, that strength doubled now that we have other beside us. Together, realizing that the Fortress wasn't the tree house all along, it was us.

"Yes." I answered Noah, smiling as I gazed to the sky, hoping Violet could see us now. "She's at peace."

A/N: Next chapter would be the epilogue.