Without Words

1- Old Picture

"Ladies and gentleman, Logan International Airport welcomes you to Boston, Massachusetts. The local time is 9:24 am. For your safety and the safety of those around you, please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened and keep the aisle clear until we are parked at the gate. The Captain will then turn off the "Fasten Seatbelt" sign, indicating it is safe to stand. Please use caution when opening the overhead compartments and removing items."

I blinked back the tears as the announcement was made. We're now here in Boston, a thousand miles away from my London home with dad. Well, my former home to be exact because according to Social Services, this is my new home.

"Your mother should be expecting us just outside the terminal." Helen from Social Service kindly reminded. "She said your brother is also coming. Aren't you excited?"

For someone whose work involves constant interaction with people, she sure is ignorant of the fact that I'm trying to hold back my tears.

She sighed in defeat. I haven't been speaking since we've boarded the plane and even before that- from the hospital to the police station, then their office, interrogation and interview, I only answered the important questions. Everything else, they can do on their own. Like calling my mom or arranging for them to throw me out from my home to strangers I haven't spoken to for almost five years.

"Have you spoken to your mom?" Helen asked gently. She's a nice woman but surely, she has to read the signs. This has to be the worst moment in my life. I'm barely holding it together, as I'm sure she knows from the various reports the psychiatrist made on my file.

"I will in fifteen minutes." I mumbled as I removed my seatbelt.

As we were exiting the plane and claiming my baggage, Helen helpfully supplied me with detailed instructions on how I can contact and reach out to them and my meeting with the Social Services Department here in US. Guess my case is being thrown to them too.

"Your mother informed me that she will hire a lawyer to handle the legal concerns you left in London. I gave her-"

"I will come back." I cut her off. "London is my home. I'll come back home."

Helen shook her head and stared at me with the look I hated the most- pity. "Eliza, her and your father might have divorced but she is still your mother. She is your family now."

"The only family I have is back in London, with a tombstone that will not be taken care of and will probably be surrounded with rotten flowers and weeds in two months' time." I hissed, some tears escaping from my eyes. "You didn't even let me grieve his loss; instead you separated us and threw me here."

She had the decency to look guilty but still maintained her professionalism. "I admit that things went too fast but you cannot be left alone without a guardian. Your naturalization proceeding for British citizenship wasn't finalized. For all intents and purposes, you are an American minor alone in England without a parent."

I wiped the tears harshly and dragged my luggage towards the exit. I'm not stupid. I know what Helen said is true and that sooner or later; I'd have to go to my mother. But between confirming the corpse's body to be my dad, making the funeral arrangements, burying him; I would have thought they would at least understand my grief and give me time to even acknowledge my loss. The minute I laid those roses on dad's tombstone, they informed me of my flight the next day. I had to return home, pack my things and stare blankly at the home I once shared with dad. All I could think of is who would now eat the leftover meatloaf we saved in the fridge.

"I need to go to the ladies' room first." I told Helen as I ran away from her. All I could see in her is pity and it's making me want to vomit.

I stood in front of the mirror and winced. I look horrible. If I show up like this, there would be more pitying glances headed my way. I washed my face with cold water, took my purse and put a bit of makeup to cover my dark circles. My chocolate brown wavy hair was in agreement with me today and I managed to tame it down with my brush. I added some pink lipstick and more makeup and I somehow looked normal.