It wasn't meant to be ✔️

Chapter 2

Someone tapped my shoulder and snapped their fingers in front of my face, I broke out of trance of remembering the past. "Honey, where are you lost?" Says the wonderful nurse who had helped me so much during my mum's cancer journey . "Sorry, I just sort of zoned out" I laughed, trying to assure her I was fine. "Yeah I can tell" she says with a smile "look at the time". I check the time on my phone and my face drops. I've only got 10 minutes till my lesson.

Oh how could I be so stupid?

These stupid teachers are already on my case and if I'm late once more they'll never let me rest in peace. Since my mums been ill I've been letting my grades slip because nothings more important than mum, right? Yeah but my college doesn't appreciate that, so I'm in a sticky situation. If I put more time into my studies then I'll have less time for my mum and even if I was to bring my stuff to the hospital she'll feel bad and think she's a burden on me, which she's DEFINITELY NOT. Or I let my grades slip and they kick me out and I won't have anything to do with my life and besides I promised my brother I'll get my A levels. I don't necessarily like him but I always fulfil my promises.

I quickly get up, gather my belongings, kiss my mum on the forehead, thank the nurse and throw the cup in the bin on my way out. I headed to the car that my brother bought me. I wanted to sell it like I did with his belongings in his room but I simply couldn't afford it and he was paying the expenses like the MOT and road tax and insurance. I was paying for petrol and that alone was a struggle. My selfish prick of a father decided that since only 2 people were living in his house, he would stop sending as much money. I was saving some of it and the other half was spent on house expenses, bills, groceries etc. It was only £50 a month that he was sending to us. And the job my brother got me didn't pay well. Meaning I had to take another one in a grocery shop, I had to take up a job where they would give me money in hand as all my accounts are tracked and if anything funny comes up then my dad will have a go. He knows about the restaurant job and the salary I receive. He transfers half of it into his new wife's account so she can spend it on herself.

She uses the hard earned money of the daughter whose mother's life she has ruined.

Ha!

Some people just have no self respect.

That's the reason why I had to be cautious. I got into my car, my head banging, maybe it was from all the sleepless nights, from worrying about my mother to trying to keep on top of my studies or maybe me not eating. I barely ate now, it's funny the girl who used to be bullied for being so fat was now a twig, a sack of skin and bones. Even if I did, I would puke it up. I didn't care about myself, I didn't bother with myself, my priority was my mother and would always be her. My life would be worthless without her.

Worthless.

I got into my car and sat there trying to normalise my breathing, panic attacks were my everyday norm now. I know they shouldn't be but I couldn't do anything about it. My phone beeps, indicating I had received a text, without even checking, I knew who it was. I clenched my jaw. It was obviously that manhoos. The one who was just making my life even harder that it already was.

This was when all my siblings had left the house and I was alone with my mum, I wouldn't have had it any other way. If they had cared about her, they wouldn't have left. One evening, I had forgotten that I needed to make dinner and needed to get some ingredients from the shop, which was down the road. I had called out to my mum, saying I was going to the shops. "Ok!" She yelled in response. She was getting better and she was coming to terms with reality, I did hide the fact that my siblings had left her alone. But one day she demanded to know so I told her everything. She looked away, not saying anything, I thought she may cry and scream it was my fault but it seemed like she had accepted the fact that her offspring had abandoned her, just like the man she was meant to spend her whole life with. After a few minutes, "she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "why didn't you leave me?" I broke, " why would I leave the woman who birthed me, raised me. Put my needs in front of hers. The one who never left me in my times of need, why would I leave her in her time of need?" My tears were flowing down my face not planning to stop any time soon.

She opened her arms up, wanting a hug. I hugged her and we both cried in each other's arms, letting all our frustrations, complaints and just plain anger. "Thank you meri beti. Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for not giving up on me like the rest." She kept repeating these 3 sentences and I kept shaking my head saying that it was my duty and she never had to thank me. It was hurting me, why did she ever think that I would leave her was beyond my imagination. She's my world, my life, my everything. If I didn't have her in this world, I'm sure I would have become mad by now. I loved her with all my might. Everything I did was for her, just her. I never want to lose her, if I lose her I'll lose myself. And from then on, she started to become like her old self before all these betrayals she started loving everyone just like before. She was so strong. I love her. I never wanna lose her.

I was dragged out of my thoughts by a message notification. I was taken back. No one would contact me and hardly anyone had my phone number cause I didn't want them to have it. I didn't want those snakes to pretend to care because no one really cared about except Allah, the one who created you.

******

Chapter 2 is done!

Don't you think what Ayla says is relatable, putting your Lord before everything and anything, let's see is she practices what she preaches.

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