It wasn't meant to be ✔️

Prologue

"Why did you do this to me? WHY ME? AN ALREADY BROKEN girl? Why did you show me a fake world and destroy it along with me? Why Ismail? Whyyyyyy?" I broke out in tears. I had been silent for far too long. I needed to speak up for myself. For how long would I live like this, a puppet, a slave, a useless nobody, someone who'll never have any importance in his eyes despite being in his Nikah.

He took a threatening step towards me, to which I flinched in response. He smirked knowing he will always have the upper hand over me. "Cause my jaan, it's much more fun to show a living corpse a new world and then lead them to hell then it is to do so to someone normal, I guess." He stated shrugging his shoulders.

I took the vase from the table and smashed near his feet, anger taking a control of me. "Why? Why did you marry me to ruin me? Why can't you see that you've ruined me enough. Just kill me. KILL ME NOW!" I shrieked

His eyes darkened as I said those words and I regretted saying them as soon as I saw his reaction. He calmly bent down. Anticipating his next move as a slap or a punch, I wait with my eyes shut tight but nothing comes. I opened one eye followed by the other and see he is picking up the pieces of glass from the vase I threw, calmly and placing them on his palm and his long fingers. He realised I was staring and smiled, an evil one.

"I won't kill you cause I need you for MY needs, but I can give you a taste of death, if you're that eager." He lunged towards me without wasting a second and wrapped the same hand that he had placed broken pieces of glass on, around my neck. I could feel blood oozing out of my neck but his grip kept tightening, not caring about my pain or tears. He kept going. I don't know what was hurting more my lungs from the lack of oxygen or my neck from the glass pieces that were piercing into it. I should be numb to all this abuse, but it still hurts, it still hurts that the person I trusted with my life could hurt me to such an extent.

After what felt like a century, he released my neck. I dropped back gasping for air. But he wasn't done with me yet. He reached out and grabbed my arm and pushed me towards the bed, where he continued to use my body till the daylight hours. When he was done, he pushed me off of the bed and went to sleep. It was ironic really he could fall asleep within seconds but he was the reason for my sleepless nights. He was the reason I hated myself. He was the reason I wanted to die.

When I finally heard his loud snores, I got up without trying to make much sound, but that was hard as he was always merciless towards me. It was like I was a toy and not a human being, not his wife.

I shuffled to the wardrobe where I kept my handbag with pills in, I needed to take one. I couldn't get pregnant. He promised he would never let me be a part of my child's life so why should I take any risk? I found the handbag and bottle of birth control pills that I had kept a secret from him for months. He was unpredictable, I wouldn't know how he would react or how to handle his reaction. I opened the bottle and.... it was empty.

No! This cant be happening!

I looked in the handbag frantically to look for a pill that I might have accidently dropped in the bag, but no such luck. And then I hear him, "What are you doing?" he said. I quickly shoved the handbag back into its place and grabbed a pair of night clothes. I showed it to him thinking he would let me off, but no - he didn't. He stalked towards me and pushed me out of the way. He looked in the wardrobe and finally grabbed the bag. How the hell did he know? I wondered to myself and realised I was going to be in big trouble when he realises.

I backed away from him and towards the door. He noticed and quickly grabbed me and pushed me away from the door, my only escape. I fell on the floor, panic and fear rushing through my blood. He's going to torture me for months. I was praying to Allah to wake me up from this nightmare, but obviously nothing happened as this was reality, my reality. He tipped the bag upside down and the bottle fell out. Wasting no time, he grabbed it before I got a chance. He read the label and it clicked. He looked at me in disgust. "This is what you do? You deceive me!" He shouted making me flinch backwards. He grabbed my arms "I wanted a child and you betray me like this!" He screamed in my face holding me by shoulders. "I want a child and I will get a child. FROM YOU!" He shrieked and he pulled me out of the room, towards the basement, which I wasn't a stranger to.

It was where he would beat me to his heart's extent as it was sound proof and our room wasn't. He pushed me into the room and left. I knew he would be back and he was within a few minutes. With a stick. I gulped as his anger knew no extent how stupid could I be why didn't I stop him now I'll face the consequences for my stupidity. Why couldn't I turn back time and stop myself from ever meeting him.

Ya Allah only you can help me now. I cried in my thoughts as he raped me again and again expecting a child who he could use against me and I couldn't do anything to protect myself, all I could do was release tears which angered him and he kept slapping me and using me until he was content. As he was leaving, he stated "If I don't hear that you are pregnant within this week. I will divorce you and sell you off." And with that he walked he left me wishing I never met him or signed those Nikah papers.

Maybe it was never meant to be is the story of Ayla and Ismail, who are bound in each other's Nikah by choice, but when soon this relationship starts to suffocate them, to each their own reasons but will they ever overcome their differences or will they just float further apart?

Will Ayla get the justice she deserves? Will she leave it to the One above or take matters into her own hands?

Trigger warning: this book will contain elements of abuse, suicide and rape.

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