Sk8 the Infinity: 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐝𝐞

chapter eighteen.

a/n: extra long 4 the long wait.

DISCLAIMER: USE OF SLUR IN THIS CHAPTER.

Kaia's mouth snapped shut in surprise from what he had said. Kaoru froze in place and couldn't believe what he had heard either. Both needed reassurance that they were in fact in reality rather than some lucid dream that they'd awaken from in any moment.

Kaia was the first to speak up as he placed his hand on the nape of his neck. "You're one of the people I'm closest to, so I'm a bit protective over things I care about. And I care because you're my friend." His voice got softer as he continued and he avoided any eye contact with Kaoru in fear of seeing his reaction.

His friend. Something about saying that made his heart drop to his stomach. It didn't flow easily off his tongue like it should have. They were close, close enough to at least call him his friend, right? But something about this wasn't right and he was afraid to even consider that he wanted anything more than a friendship.

Kaoru's face softened and his cheeks were tinted a slight pink. He was surprised by the sudden confession but he felt lighter almost as if he were floating. His heart was beating so loud that he was afraid Kaia could hear it through the silence between them. When Kaoru glanced upwards after processing Kaia's words he felt the weight of reality fall back onto his shoulders.

Kaia was looking directly at him but at the same time it seemed like he was actually looking past him. His mouth was slightly downturned as he smiled once he noticed Kaoru's eyes on him again. But it was forced. So forced that Kaoru was sick looking at it.

KAIA'S POV

"I'll be fine for the race."

Those were the only words I could force myself to say. I continued to smile the best I could but I felt disgusting. My whole body felt heavy as I stood there awaiting his response.

His face had softened and his expression was elegantly gentle. My heart beat loudly in my chest and I cursed myself for it. I hated this feeling. I shouldn't feel this way, I can't feel this way. It will ruin everything.

"Kaia,"

don't say my name, please.

"I'll trust you on this.."

I'm sorry for being like this.

"but if you need anything--"

I'm so sick, Kaoru.

He reached for my hand and I instantly flinched back from his touch. My eyes were wide and complete fear was plastered on my face for him to see. I held my hand and gradually stepped back from Kaoru.

I couldn't tell him. He's already tolerated me for this long.

My mind clicked in realisation.

That's right. This whole agreement with me staying here is because he has to tolerate me. I shouldn't even be living here. I had no right, I had no right to use him like this anymore. Staying with him like this is dishonest.

"I'm going to head upstairs. I'm already pretty exhausted."

Why did I have to fall for you?

"Are you alright?"

No.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You just surprised me a little." I laughed lightly and turned to go up the stairs. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight.." I heard him respond in a confused tone. Before he could say anything else I hurried up the stairs. I started to take my things out of the closet and drawers. I'd saved some money lately but not nearly enough to get a new place.