Wet The Bed: (Chris Brown Story)

HeartBreak

"So it's over ? .." Chris came around to ask

" Is that what you want ?" ... I said back

"Blossom , you know I love you so Why would you ask a question like that ..."

"This isn't love ... What you did isn't love .. ,who you are is not love , Christopher !! " I screamed

"What does that suppose to mean ? "

" It means that you would never love anybody because your "Chris Brown " it's impossible for you to love anyone ..." And those were the last words I said before leaving him behind ..

Now I found myself back at my house in the backyard gazing up to the darkness of the world . Laying on the cold ground with a baggy shirt and sweats with my hair in the messiest bun and my cheeks stained with mascara. It's been about a month since I seen Christopher or even spoke to him ... We were everything then ended up to being nothing . He was my everything then I ended up to being nothing ... Everyone is confused such as all our close friends and the outside world they don't know why we spilt . I haven't talked to anyone about it neither has he . That night replays in my head every single day even at this very moment ...

::Flashback ::

" It means that you would never love anybody because your "Chris Brown " it's impossible for you to love anyone ..."

I stormed out the house from that very moment jumping into my car driving to who knows where . Music was escalating through the whole car so I couldn't hear my thoughts . I wouldn't stop driving , I couldn't stop driving . But where do you go when nothing feels like home anymore. Where do you go when you just want to get away from everyone , where do you go when you just want to get away from yourself ... So I will drive until I find the answers to my questions well at least that was my attempt . My phone went off so many times . I had so many texts and calls from Chris. But it was his last texts that made me stop driving completely . I pulled over to the side of the road turning the music down . I opened his texts and I swear my heart shattered .

"Blossom ... I do love you ... I do care about you so much .. But I'm not in love with you . I thought I was but I'm really not . I don't want to hurt you .. I don't want to lose you and I still want to be with you but maybe it's Time for me to try new things "

"You love me but your not in love with me ? You want to be with me but you want to experience new things as in other people ? You care about me but you don't want to hurt me ? ... I can't do this anymore , I really can't I'm sorry but a break up is for the best right now " I sent back

"Why ?" He asked

"Why ? Are you seriously asking me that question ?

"Yes "

"Because you just fucking said that you love me but your not in love with me !!! And you say it as if it's a normal thing and doesn't hurt "

And then I never got a response back from him . I chucked my to the floor siting in complete silence . It didn't really hit me until ... Well I actually don't know when it got to me . All I know is hot tears escaped from my eyes . I felt like my heart was ripped out and stabbed. It feels like I've been kicked in my stomach , it feels like my heart stopped beating it feels like I'm in a horrid dream where I'm falling off a cliff but in this case I was pushed off a cliff where I desperately wanted to wake up from the dream before I hit the ground but just couldn't . I got out the car In the coldness still crying and screaming trying to gain some sanity but it didn't seem to work ... And from there everything else is a blur.

::Flashback Over ::

Now like I said I'm here in the backyard just laying here with bottles of vodka trying to drown out the pain . I don't understand how he had this big of effect on me . I was suppose to be so strong and now I feel so worthless because I let Myself down but you know where it hurts .. It's hurts right there ... All the time day and night , every night . Even in my dreams there's no escaping. It hurts constantly. It hurts because you've loved someone and gave them a part of your heart . You thought they would savor and care for it & actually love you back but they don't.. It's hurts inside because suddenly it's all gone . Gone . That love you cared so tenderly about & given went with your heart that was shattered .

"Be careful because butterflies can be wasps. When your stomach flutters and your hands shakes and your cheeks flush , sometimes it's not love. It's pain "

What does " I love you but not in love with you " really mean ?

Sorry everyone I took so long . But here is the update . Answer the question please 😋😋 thanks for all the support
!!