Wet The Bed: (Chris Brown Story)

::I wish::

It takes twenty days to break a habit.

It takes for your own personal space to realize your worth .

And it takes months are even longer to get over someone.

It takes your family and friends to be there right by your side to assure not everyone will give up on you 

And then finally it takes him to understand what he has lost and start regretting.

But ladies let me tell you something, for a motherfucker to watch you cry and break down over something and they continue doing the same shit. They do not love you ... Period

Trust me I know ... I know "Us" women love hard. We don't let go easily. Not out of weakness , but because letting go is to much like giving up. And I know damn sure I've never been good at that neither. So forget him baby girl you deserve better. Can you believe that sentence coming out my mouth ? Because I tell myself that everyday but you see he's my better. Well from my eyes he's my better. All of you might be so confused right now but this is the deal it's been about two months from the huge break up. I've been taking it day by day. It's hard it's always been hard since the day it happened.But at least my pieces are trying to glue back together. You're probably still confused right now but I'll help you out here more.

Two months ago I was a complete mess . I've gotten better though.
But about two weeks after the break up Chris and I started communicating again. He apologized to me and I accepted it. I had hope we were getting back together but that's not how he was thinking . Once again he told me he wasn't in love with me which broke me a little more . I think I just couldn't wrap my head around the words. I couldn't understand how a person can say they don't love you anymore after they spent a whole year with you ? How can you not love that person ? How could you say all those beautiful things and act as if so you did love them for so long and then just say you don't anymore .It just doesn't make sense.Because I know for a fact the longer I was with Chris the more I started loving him which made it even harder for me.

Chris told me and him being together wasn't good because he wasn't good for me. He said that he wants me happy and I said my happy was with him. Then he said he only makes me angry and sad . And that's when I figured it was someone else involved. He tried to lie like it wasn't but sure enough it was. When I finally figured out who it was it made perfect sense in my mind. It was this girl name Wendy that I've met and was introduced as Chris good friend.Not Aria anymore but Wendy.When I started to think more about it I remembered Wendy at different functions where Chris use to talk to her more than me. And he always disappeared off somewhere as well. I seen them a couple of times together lately. My stomach sinks every time I think about those moments. Probably like a month after that I still was heartbroken but this time I got better at hiding it . I started wilding out . Drinking and smoking like crazy when normally I don't do any of that well not the smoking but I needed something to put my attention towards.

Flashback ::

But then one night I ran into Chris ironically. Okay it wasn't ironically it was at Tyga house for a friend get together. Chris and I were on talking terms of course but only like a wassup and that's it. While everyone was watching the basketball game in the living room I went on a walk . Right when I walked out I ran straight into Chris on the phone . I acted as if he wasn't there and continued to walk until he yelled my name catching up to me. I bluntly asked what he wanted and he said

"Where are you going ?"

"I'm just taking a walk "

"It's dark as hell you're not walking alone especially when it's extra cold outside"

"I'll be fine " I softly said

"I'm walking with you "

"Whatever " I shrugged