Thoughts That Make Me Afraid of the Dark

Human. Human being. I am Human.

Why do I write? Why do I write? Why do I, specifically, write? 

It can't possibly be because I like it, because I don't always like it. In fact, there are times I want to put my head through the nearest wall because of it. 

If I had to give writing and me a relationship status, it'd be complicated. 

Is it because I want success and fame? I mean, sure, but that's not a guarantee and after how much time has passed I would've given up by now if that was the only reason. 

It definitely isn't to look cool or be popular. I don't think nervous breakdowns over plot holes or editing the same chapter a bajillion times are cool. At least, it doesn't make me feel cool. 

So what is it then? Why do I write? Why do I write? Why do I, specifically, write? 

Well, if I had to take a gander, I suppose I...

write to feel a connection. 

write to process my emotions. 

write to laugh.

write to cry. 

write to remind myself I'm alive. 

write to feel like I have meaning. 

write to have a friend. 

write to exist. 

write so other people exist. 

write to have adventures. 

write to fall in love. 

write to go to places I could never in this world. 

write to believe. 

write to remember. 

write to forget. 

write to sing. 

write to dance. 

write to do things I'm afraid of. 

write to experience things that won't happen again or never did.

write to give myself things that bring me joy.

write to reminisce about things that bring me pain. 

write to-

Hold on.

Connection. Emotion. Laughing. Crying. Living. Singing. Dancing. Fear. Joy. Pain. Forgetting. Remembering--

those are all a part of something. 

What are they?

Wait. 

I get it now. 

There is a reason I write. 

It's the reason we all have that one thing we can't stop doing, for better or for worse. 

I'm a fool for not realizing it sooner. 

It's so painfully obvious.

Writing makes me human because it gives me the human experience. 

Without it, my existence isn't being lived to the fullest extent.

I write to be human. 

Writing makes me human.

I now wonder dear reader, 

what makes you human?