𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 [[Kimetsu Academy au]] (fem reader)

≋25≋

The morning after was dead silent. You walked up and down the stairs of your house gathering yourself together and the ambient noise of wood creaking under your feet and the shuffling of your hands grabbing at your clothes sounded louder than before. There's no mistake about it; your parents have heard the news about Makomo. And it looks like they're not ready to talk about it either.

Shinobu didn't hand you and your friends your skateboards back yesterday, so you have to take the bus again. You were trembling madly and looking around like a crazy person because Kaigaku could be anywhere, and Tanjiro isn't here to help you this time. 

Through the entire ride on the bus you held on tight to that lucky keychain. It feels so stupid clinging to this thing like your life depends on it, but it's the only thing protecting you now.

When you got off the bus, no one was there to greet you. Not Sabito, not Tanjiro, and certainly not Makomo.

"Alright class, now you've probably been hearing a lot of rumors of a student going missing from the academy"

you rest your hand in your palm, staring down at the pencil in your hand

The empty desk beside you seemed to be looming over you, almost as if to say 'you could've saved me'. It was haunting and everybody kept staring back over their shoulders to look at the seat where Makomo used to be.

"We don't know where Makomo is but there is a police investigation going on, so if you see police at the school please do not interfere." Sanemi announced, "if you know anything at all about where she might be please come forward and we will inform the police."

the pencil began to shake and eventually broke in your hand

 when it snapped you realized you'd been gripping it way too hard

Sanemi falls silent to look at you

you can feel the eyes of all the students but you refuse to look at them

"Is something wrong, (Y/n)?" Sanemi asks

you get up quickly "I just need to go to the bathroom"

"Alright." he nodded stiffly "go on then."

you walk briskly past the rows of desks and through the door digging your nails into your skin

"I'm so sorry Makomo" you muttered to yourself

you slammed the bathroom stall shut and sat down on the floor, shoving your face into your hands

"why...why did I have to be the lucky one? Why can't I protect others from harm?" you murmured to yourself over and over again until it became dizzying and you couldn't speak anymore

your phone buzzes in your pocket

"...sabito?" you whisper, picking up the phone

why is he calling me? He knows I'm in class right now

you answer the phone anyway

"(Y/n), hey" he says

"Hey Sabito" you reply flatly "What're you calling me for?"

"..." he paused

you raised an eyebrow at your phone "Hello?"

"I just wanted to apologize" he admitted "...for getting angry. At the new kid."

you sighed and leaned against the door "Why can't you just apologize to him? I'm not the one you yelled at."

"I'd rather talk to you." He states

"I'm not the only person in the world Sabito," you frown "You have to be more independent"

"I know that." 

you both got quiet. The silence was awkward, and tense; you wanted to just hang up the phone and not think about it anymore

"and why aren't you at school?" you sigh

"I won't be at school for a few days," he says "I'm in the hospital right now."

what...WHAT

you clasp a hand over your mouth; your throat feels so dry, like you're choking on something that isn't there

"Look, I know you're not happy right now," he continued "but please. Come see me."

you tilt your head back to stop the tears, and your eyes start to ache

"Okay. I will." you whispered and hung up the phone

you sit your phone down on the floor next to you. Your chest feels like it's about to burst, and your eyes are on fire

"FUCK." you shout and slam your fists into the wall

I don't know if I can take this much longer. I just want to be happy

you left the bathroom with red and puffy eyes from crying. No one seemed to notice, but why would they?

you sat down in your seat and stared off into space while Sanemi droned on about equations. You couldn't be damned to do anything right now. All you wanted was to turn your emotions off completely.

"Hey, can I...borrow a pencil?"

you nod "sure" and start to hand your pencil to the speaker "But make sure you give it back"

no response came

you feel a twinge in your gut when you realize that the pencil is still in your hand

"(Y/n). Who are you talking to?" Aoi whispers over her shoulder

"oh!" you tensed "uh, no one. I didn't say anything."

What the hell...I'm seeing shit now?! This can't be real

"Okay, looks like our time is up for today class," Sanemi says solemnly "please turn in your notes so that I can check them"

you stare at the empty paper on your desk blankly and Aoi looks from you to the teacher a few times

Then, you stood up from your seat and the chain in your pocket jingled with your movement

"Here. I wrote a second page of notes for you." Aoi muttered, sliding the paper across the desk without looking at you

"Huh..?" you whisper

she doesn't say anything after that so you take the notes page and hand it in to the teacher without another word. Sanemi looks surprised that you have anything to turn in

you turn and walk out into the hallway

It was a long day. For the most part, since Tanjiro hadn't shown up to school, you just listened to music alone. Against Obanai's wishes, you spent your entire lunch in his room staring at the chicken egg--and then after that, everything else just faded into background sound. Sometimes you would cry between the numbness.

After school, though, you asked your parents to drive you to visit Sabito. They readily obliged and drove down to the place where he'd been resting.

you rest your head on the window with teary eyes 

it's funny. Back when I was unlucky, my life was so much better. Now that I have a little piece of luck to repel evil...my friends are both gone. 

What a cruel reality