My BooBear

Day 34 Part 3 (From Louis's Diary)

I knocked on her door hesitantly, and waited for a moment. I came down because I heard a few minutes of sobbing from the floor beneath me, full on wailing, and then it just went silent. Finally a faint voice called out from behind her door, "It's open." I reached for the door handle, took a steadying breath, and walked into her suite. The first thing I noticed was the stifling quiet. Then I heard the soft breathing coming from a room deep in the suite. I ventured further inside until I came across a cracked-open door and pushed it open. Inside was a girl lying face up on a hotel bed, tears streaming into her hair and ears out of the corner of her eyes. I cleared my throat. She said weakly, "Please don't rape me." I frowned and she continued without opening her eyes, "I've been going over possible endings to this scenario and most if not all of them involve rape." I returned, "I'm not going to rape you, I promise." She finally opened her eyes and lifted her head to look at me. Instead of freaking out and fangirling like I expected, her head flopped back down onto her pillow and she groaned, "Figures you'd come when I'm at my worst." I grabbed a box of tissues off a table and came to sit on the side of her bed. "You're not at your worst," I protested. "You're just not at your best." She sighed and dead-panned, "If you insist." I took a tissue and swept at the flow of tears. "You want to tell me what this is all about?" She sighed again, "Not particularly, but I know you're not going to let me not tell you." I shrugged innocently. She sat up and swung her legs around to sit next to me on the side of the bed. "Well," she began. "You remember that guy I've been texting? The other Louis?" I nodded. It was an extremely odd feeling, listening to her talking about me, to me, without knowing that she was talking about me. She continued, "He's pretty much my only friend, and I'm only here because of him. And...and he keeps telling me he loves me, right?" I went "Mm-hmm," so she would keep talking. I wanted to hear what she thought. Her voice kept catching in her throat as she went on, "He keeps telling me he loves me, and, and every time he does, it, it just reminds me that I don't deserve him. He's, he's, he's done so much for me and I've repaid him by being insufferable. And, and, and then I started wondering if I'll ever be able to pay him back, and I realized that I probably never will, and I generally feel like a crappy person." Her breathing was faster now, and she moved into ranting. "I don't deserve him. I don't deserve his kindness, I don't deserve his love, and I sure as hell don't deserve his money. I don't deserve him, and he shouldn't love me. He deserves a hell of a lot more. I'm...I'm...inadequate. Insignificant. I don't deserve anyone's love." I stopped her there. "Whoa, whoa. Calm down. Take a breath." She obediently took a deep breath, held it for a moment or two, and began to sob wildly. Through the tears she kept shaking her head and saying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I held out my arms. "Aw, love, it's ok. C'mere." She literally fell into me. I hesitated for only a moment before wrapping my arms around her shaking frame, holding her closer. She made the most heart-wrenching little whimpers as she cried, and impulsively I began to stroke her hair. At the same time I hummed a soothing tune until her sobs were reduced to little gasps for air, but she still clung to my shirt like she was drowning and I was a piece of wood. I rocked her rhythmically, and soon she was fast asleep. Only then did I whisper, "You deserve the world and more, Cat." I then proceeded to rain soft kisses all over her hair. I placed a kiss on her forehead, on the tip of her nose, and finally ever so gently on her soft lips. I didn't want to wake her up, so I slid carefully out from under her, laid her down, and pecked her on the forehead again. As I crept quietly away, I realized I was crazily in love with this girl called Catherine and there was nothing she nor I could do about it.

*A/N*

Finally some LouCat action! Yay!