BLACK AND WHITE | BUCKY BARNES x OC

part ten

WARNING: 18+ MINORS DNI

Leila POV

By the time the sun goes down, I've packed a few of my clothes and toiletries in a light pink duffle. I wasn't told how long I'd be with Bucky, so I was unsure what to pack. Seeing everything I own in color has been hard to articulate, even for this simple mundane task.

It's difficult to comprehend what I've been doing all my life now that I can see color. Was I making the correct choices when I was only seeing in black and white? Is my path in life different now that I get to choose things because of the color it entails? Because I favor something more than the other due to its hues and tones?

This thought crept into my mind after what Bucky and I did, twice. I only knew love in black and white, but now that I have the ability to see the vibrant selections in this world, I feel deep down that I have more choices in my life now. I don't ever want to live a life where it seemed like I settled down because of the choices I made in my past due to limited knowledge.

I'm not too sure what I need to do next, but I know somewhere deep in my core I was given a clarifying wake up call. I went all my life holding onto the belief that what I had was it. That I wasn't going to ever see color and to just deal with it. I was simply satisfied to find someone who was in the same position as me, Steve.

Steve and I kept our relationship alive with feeling and choice. We knew that if we hadn't met our soulmate yet to see color that we were just as happy to stick with each other. And I can't break a heart that accepted me for who I am and chooses to love me despite this 'color' destiny.

After our shower escapade, Bucky and I took the rest of the afternoon to clean the couch and shower. It didn't take long so we ended up taking some space away from each other; Bucky stayed in the living room area and I went to my master suite.

This helped me clear my thoughts and think about my current choices. Since seeing Bucky at my wedding I haven't been able to get him out of my head. It's like once my heart set its sights on him, he was everywhere. He left pictured fragments in my brain that crept into my thoughts, my dreams, and now my skin.

He was everywhere and I couldn't run away from this. Not anymore.

Although I wasn't someone that usually acted upon arousal and spontaneity, this one was different; like the universe pulled and yanked our strings together until we couldn't stop. But it isn't fair to Steve. I vowed him my heart and my future. This isn't what was supposed to happen.

Steve nor Nat have attempted to call me the last few hours even after sending a worried text. It's like we're shut out of the world, Bucky and I. We're here as the world spins, stagnant and waiting.

Bucky is sitting at the marble kitchen island, on one of the leather bar stools when I finally come out of my bedroom hours later. I bring my duffle and drop it on top of the other duffle bags on the living room chair.

He looks up from where he's sitting, a magazine on the countertop opened halfway. Probably catching up on the latest gossip in the world or trying out those cologne samples within the pages.

"Leila," His voice is a low baritone and I turn around to see him staring.

"I'm all packed for the morning," I say, gesturing to my duffel I just planted on the chair. He nods his head but I can tell there's a question on his mind.

I didn't check on him the whole afternoon I was in my bedroom after we showered. My mind was too frazzled on what we did to see if he was in need of anything while he waited out here.

"We need to talk about this." He simply says. His eyes don't leave mine and I gulp. I can feel the quickening of my heart.

"We do, but not right now. We have to focus on where we need to go tomorrow. Steve hasn't called or texted me." My voice strains at the last part and I can feel a lump in my throat. A lump full of guilt and worry.