BLACK AND WHITE | BUCKY BARNES x OC

part fourteen

WARNING: 18+ MINORS DNI

Bucky POV

My mind flickers back to what just happened, unable to really process it. Whenever the Winter Soldier takes over, I'm stuck inside my own body unable to claw my way out. My vision is hazy and I see black and white since it's like another person is using my eyes.

But this time, my vision was blurring in and out as I was clutching Leila's throat in my metal arm. My mind was having the worst battle with him to stop choking her. It's like no matter what I mentally thought, he didn't care and only knew one mission; kill Leila.

Once Leila spoke my name and he repeated it out loud, I was able to get some control over my body. Visions of color were creeping back into my eyes and I used all of my mental strength to keep afloat.

No one tells you that when you get brainwashed into a super soldier that you're essentially being pushed down into a cage inside your own mental nightmare. The super soldier has clear thoughts that are lethal; meanwhile the captive is attempting to gain control over the body.

I never spoke with a super soldier outside of my HYDRA missions, so I had to learn this on my own. Being in Wakanda for some time, they were able to figure out how to help me gain enough mental strength to fight back. Every time they spoke those trigger words for me, I would do my best to fight back.

It's been a few years since I left Wakanda and mentally trained; they thought they completely fixed me. We didn't expect Zemo to come find me; he has the most control out of anyone since he was the last one that awoke the Winter Soldier and gave orders. It's like whoever was the last one to trigger those words has the most control to re-trigger them.

My mind brings me back to the present and I'm scared. My heart is thumping loudly, moving my whole body with each pump. I'm holding Leila's chin gently with my hands and continue to lay tender kisses on her lips. My body relaxes at the touch.

"Bucky," Leila whispers after our lips separate. I look into her gorgeous eyes and smile.

"Thank you," I whisper back. I wasn't too sure if this would be the end of us. I was this close to ending her life. I don't think I would have been able to live with that etched into my memory and heart.

Leila shakes her head and gives me a small smile. I can still see the fear in her eyes. Like she's scared that I will hurt her again, that he is going to pop up out of nowhere and continue with his mission.

"It's okay." I reassure her. I kiss her once more before continuing. "Once I'm snapped out of him, I'm able to be in control. I'd have to hear those words again for him to come back."

She nods and takes a step back, allowing herself to breathe. My eyes glance at her body again, taking in her presence. My gaze travels to her neck again, a sinking feeling in my chest as I take in the visible yellow and blue marks from the chokehold.

It's going to take some time for me to forgive myself for placing those bruises on her neck.

We look around the room, as if remembering that there are bodies still on the floor along with Zemo's unconscious one.

"Let me call Fury." I simply say, getting my phone out of my pocket. I dial his number and he picks up on the third ring. Leila nods and sits on the couch, looking like she's trying to calm her breathing.

"Are they there?" Fury asks immediately after answering.

I look around the room in confusion. "Uh, yeah. One's unconscious and the other two are dead."

"Who's dead?! Steve and Nat? Sam? What happened?!" All of this comes shouting onto my end of the phone and I have to lift the phone off of my ear.

"Wait, what? They're not here. I'm talking about Zemo and some of the Takers."