BLACK AND WHITE | BUCKY BARNES x OC

part twenty four

Steve POV

The breeze is slow and calm, wafting through the trees surrounding the lake. Waves softly brushing against each other as they near the small dock that Sam and I are sitting on. We're in two chairs with our fishing rods in hand, the line casted out into the water in front of us.

So far we haven't had any luck fishing, it's better when you go during the early morning. Nonetheless, this was just what I needed to calm my mind.

If I didn't have Sam drag me out here to his favorite fishing spot an hour away from the city, I would have done something I'd regret.

"Thank you, Sam," I speak up as I gently move my fishing rod to make the line move in hopes of a fish swimming by to catch the bait. "This is just what I needed."

Sam nods his head to my left and shrugs. "I told you this is the best place to get disconnected," Sam chuckles as he picks up his beer bottle from the ground with his free hand and takes a swig.

I follow motion and do the same to my bottle next to my foot.

Sam finishes his sip before blurting out, "Listen man, I may not know how you're feeling right now, but I do know that overthinking things won't change them. You're trying to move on but how can you do that if you're still clinging to what was?"

I slowly nod my head as I think about earlier events; the fight with Bucky. I know I shouldn't have punched him... but the moment he told me the truth about kissing Leila I felt absolutely betrayed by my own wife and best friend.

I was hoping to make it as civil as possible when I arrived at Sam's place this morning. But hearing those words fall off Bucky's lips instantly created an image in my head of them kissing and I hated them both at that moment.

Honestly, I knew how the outcome would turn out if I got into a brawl with Bucky. We had multiple fights in the past when he was still on SHIELD's radar as the Winter Soldier. He's stronger than me and more agile. But I was just so angry and disappointed in them.

I take another sip of my beer before answering Sam truthfully, "It's just hard knowing that my wife and best friend have been doing things behind my back. I feel like I have been so lost in the missions that I lost sight of what was really important, Leila. Ever since marrying her, it didn't even feel like a marriage besides our long honeymoon."

The tears in my heart at my own words are figuratively loud and I shrug my shoulders in response.

Sam looks at me and studies my reaction to my own response. "Steve, maybe it's because the moment you guys married she met Bucky..."

I quickly look up at him and can feel the heat rise in me, anger bubbling to the surface. I try to push it down, knowing Sam's right, but I can't. "Yeah, of course it happened right when I finally married the love of my life," I seethed through my teeth.

Sam gawks at my response and shakes his head. "You once said that about Peggy, I bet. Don't be too hard on yourself." His tone is playful and light and I try to calm my beating heart and boiling blood.

I stare out at the water in front of us and lay my fishing rod on the dock, giving up on it. "I did, but that was a long time ago. This time I honestly thought it was it for me. It's just a lot to handle and to process."

I look up at him and furrow my brows. "Is it true what Nat, Bucky and Leila said about seeing color? That it makes you question all the choices you've once made?"

Sam adjusts in his seat before taking another sip of his almost empty beer bottle. His mouth curls into a grin as he answers. "Yes, absolutely. You think you know everything, but once you see color... your vision changes and your mind does too. You start to regret things you were so sure about. And if the one who made you see color is your romantic soulmate, you can't get them out of your head. Even if you try."