"Of course Eren...I'll never leave you. No matter what."
"Do you remember those words Y/n?" Eren asked. He placed a hand on my cheek, caressing it lightly.
"Yeah..." I said, frowning darkly.
I so badly wanted to argue. I wanted to say, 'the person I said those words to, was a different person.'
Eren leaned forward, kissing me. The kiss was feverish, and I just sort of stood there for a minute. Eren and I had admitted our feelings to one another after Armin turned into a titan and ate Berthholdt, and Commander Erwin's death.
Not many people knew about us, and we loved eachother in secret. Armin and Mikasa had some idea, but didn't ask too many questions.
Since then, I've abided my promise and stayed by Eren's side. But Eren's become a different person. I don't think I like what he's doing, but he continues to remind me of those words I said. Those words that now continue to haunt me.
Have I made a mistake? No...I love Eren..but..he's changed.
"Are you ok Y/n?" Eren asked, as he pulled away from the kiss.
"Mhm.." I mumbled, though I felt like I could fall over. I'd begun getting terrible migraines, and I'd been drinking a lot more recently to cope with this new version of Eren. The man I loved...
"Y/n, you look pale again.." he said. I began trying to walk.
"I'm fi~" I started but I began to fall over. He caught me, and I leaned on him.
"Your not. Have you been drinking again? What's going on with you??" Eren asked.
"What's going on with- hic- me?? Seriously E-eren!?" I hiccuped.
"Y/n your not acting like yourself.." eren said, trying to help me stand up straight.
"Eren!-" I growled angrily. I wanted to tell him exactly what I felt, but in this state there wasn't much I could actually say.
"C'mon, I need your help with the attack soon, I can't have you getting sick again."
He dragged me to his bedroom and I fell onto the bed. He pulled the covers over me and leaned down next to the bed.
He felt my forehead to check for a fever, and I had a slight one.
"You need to get back on your feet soon. Were attacking in three days." Eren said.
"Do we have to?" I groaned.
"Yes." He replied simply.
Eren sat on the bed, laying my head in his lap.
"Can't we just stop...you know...we can be free- hic- together Eren...you don't need to resort to killing.." I tried.
He didn't answer me, and kept his gaze out the window as he combed his fingers through my hair.
"Eren..." I said. He still didn't reply.
I hadn't cried. Not since I was 8 years old. Unlike Eren who was able to express his emotions growing up, he cried all the time. I was never like that. I hated crying because it made me feel weak. I kept my feelings bottled up inside me, and never showed them to anyone except Eren, but I hadn't even cried in front of him before.
My eyes stung with tears. Am I going to cry? After all this time? Why is it Eren that would make me cry? I love him...I don't love what he's doing. I want to stop him, but I can't break the promise I made all of those years ago.
I bit my lip, as a sob tried to escape. My body began shaking slightly. This caught Eren's attention.
"Y-y/n...? I've never seen you...cry before..." He said, looking at me. Tears now spilling down my cheeks, and I let my lip go causing sobs to escape. I just let myself cry. I sat up a little, holding myself halfway up with just my hands.
"Y/n...why are you crying?" He asked.
I didn't answer, all I could do was cry. All of my emotions, feelings that I bottled up, all of the times I forced myself not to cry...all of that just poured out of me.
Sweat dripped down and mixed with my tears. It might've just been me, but it felt extremely hot in the room.
"E-eren...I d-don't like this..." I sobbed.
"Y/n...you...you don't look well." Eren said, trying to grab my hands. We were sitting facing eachother on the bed.
"No Eren! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME!" I yelled through my tears.
He was taken aback. I don't think I've ever yelled at him like that before. He genuinely looked hurt.
I couldn't say anymore, nothing would come out of my mouth but his name,
"Eren." I said softly. My throat felt tight, and my face was now tear stained.
He scooted closer to me, and slowly and hesitantly embraced me, afraid that I would turn away.
For a moment I just sat there, but then quickly held onto him tightly.
I sobbed onto him, taking in his scent. I tried to forget about everything bad that was happening.
"I'm sorry." Eren said, his arms around me.
"I didn't know how to react..I've..never seen you like this before..." Eren admitted. I hummed quietly in response.
"I'm so sorry, Y/n...I know your in pain..but we will be free soon." Eren said, kissing my head.
I don't know how to feel anymore...
This isn't right, but...it feels like it is.
My love for Eren is real...
But so is my love for humanity.
I have to stop him.
YOU ARE READING
crybaby - (eren x male reader)
FanfictionY/n is a boy who grew up behind the stone barrier by the name of Wall Maria. He didn't have many friends, mostly because of his hostile attitude. He meets a few kids his own age, Mikasa, Armin, and Eren and he desperately wants to be their friend, H...
