Chapter 8

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Saturday, October 31st

Honestly, sometimes I hate Theo. He's so desperate to just be normal. I kind of feel sorry for him, you know? The boy is in denial and the real world is going to crush him, but for now we have a fucking Ball to attend.

I talked Blaise into getting smashed with me beforehand. Blaise hasn't gotten properly drunk in awhile, he needs it, and I need it to be in that fucking hall. I already know The Great Hall is going to be dim and loud, it's a Halloween Ball for fucks sake. I don't really know how I'm going to respond to it, though, and that's what's really putting me on edge. I've gotten used to being in there during the day, filled with students, but now it's going to be dim and rearranged and loud.

I'm probably overreacting but this whole Granger situation has shown me how fucking weak I am. How can I handle being in that room, the room Bellatrix decimated just for fun when I let them in the castle, the room my whole family almost died in, the room that held so many dead bodies, when it's dark and I can't see what or who might be lurking in the corners, if I can't even control my thoughts surrounding her. If I can't control my emotions for a simple witch, how am I going to control them in The Great Hall?

I'm definitely overthinking this. Either way, I'm getting sloshed, Blaise is finally out of the shower. Cheers.

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