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𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗼𝘃 : 𝙖 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧
this week has been horrible , between my mental breakdowns and my mood swings i have been all over the place.
i went from missing him to wanting to slap him. like i said i was all over the place.
recently i have been in the studio quite a lot but it has actually helped me a ton. it was a way for me to pour out all my emotions.
i was alone in my apartment which was unusual because i had maddie here and refused to let her leave.
my fingers ran over the piano key's lightly feeling the coldness on my finger tips.
i propped my phone up on top of my dresser giving a full view of me and my keyboard.
i huffed before playing a tune that my hands took full control of , it was like my body just took over for me.
"Boy, you're such a lost cause Now your name is crossed off How you gonna fix this? You can't even fix yourself "
every memory hitting me like a flash making me shutter.
" It was almost one year That I chose to spend here All alone on New Year's Thinkin' "What the hell?" "
my fingers continued to play the keys impressively
" I don't wanna break your thread and needle Tryna stitch you, but I can't, I refuse "
thinking about every fight. every time i forgive him when i shouldn't have.
"Shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it Had a feeling that you never felt it I always knew that you were too damn selfish Don't know why I looked the other way I wanted you to change, yeah I shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it I always knew that you were too damn selfish "
every time i should've walked through that door.
"I bet you thought you gave me real love But we spent it all in nightclubs All you ever wanna do is lie Why you always such a Gemini? "
all the lies.
"Baby, who you tryna run from Me or all your problems? You know you will never solve 'em You don't even know yourself "
the problems that you caused but i solved.
"I don't wanna break your thread and needle Tryna stitch you, but I can't, I refuse"
i couldn't fix you.
"Shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it Had a feeling that you never felt it I always knew that you were too damn selfish Don't know why I looked the other way I wanted you to change, yeah I shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it I always knew that you were too damn selfish"
but i tried too.
"I don't wanna break your thread and needle Tryna stitch you, but I can't, I refuse"
i really tried too.
"But it's not possible Plus I'm not responsible For your self-made obstacles Put my heart in the hospital, whoa, whoa-oh"
and i wanted to fix you. us.
"Shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it Had a feeling that you never felt it I always knew that you were too damn selfish Don't know why I looked the other way I wanted you to change, yeah I shouldn't love you, but I couldn't help it I always knew that you were too damn selfish"
but i couldn't.
"Oh, mm"
and just like that. i wrote a song
i smiled to myself in victory before sending it to my manager who was also my vocal coach.
𝗧𝗘𝗫𝗧 𝗠𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗔𝗚𝗘
madison !! 1 video attachment
mela wow...so beautiful mads !! i love it. are we recording or ?
madison !! yeah , let's do this ;)
𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ! selfish = 💋💋 beautiful song. like literally i love it okay that's all but yes she is recording a song bc why not ?? i love u k byeeee
