Bloody Hands and Broken Minds Book 1

Part Three - Chapter 38

The last few days I've been cooped up in either mine or Bucky's room. Aside from Bucky, I haven't spoken to or seen anyone since I returned to myself. Pietro is alive. He's been laying in the med bay stuck in a coma. Every night his face plagues my dreams along with all the victims of the Crimson Assassin.

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Bucky knew Evelyn was having nightmares, hell he helped pull her out of them a few times. He was beyond thrilled to have her back in his arms but he was also heartbroken. He dreaded when the sun would go down because it meant the nightmares would come back. He had hoped they would lessen over time, that her mind would give her a break from the torture, but the nightmares came back every night like a disease.

Today was no different, Eve stayed in Bucky's bed the whole day and as usual Bucky tried to get her to come downstairs to eat. She would stare straight ahead at the wall while Bucky tried to persuade her to leave the room even if it was just for a few minutes. He had expressed that he was concerned for her health more than once before. She hardly ate anything these days and it worried Bucky beyond belief.

He's noticed that her skin's losing its usual pink flush, her hair losing its natural shine, her eyes dim instead of the bright spark that Bucky was used to. He felt as if she was slowly slipping through his fingers and he couldn't do anything to stop it, no matter how hard he tried.

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"Do you think they hate me?" I whisper while staring down at my lap.

"Why would they hate you?" Bucky asks softly as he sits next to me, the bed dipping slightly.

"Because I do." I reply quietly.

"Doll, we don't blame you." Bucky comforts me as he pulls me into his arms while laying back so the two of us are flat on the bed.

"Wanda does." I murmur with my head on Bucky's chest, "She's never gonna forgive me and I don't blame her. If I was her I wouldn't forgive me either."

"Eve—"

"Bucky I-...I almost killed her brother. That's not something you just forgive and forget."

"You and Wanda are like sisters, just give her some time to process. Pietro's a strong kid, he'll bounce back in no time."

"I've missed this." I say softly.

"What?" Bucky asks as he looks down at me.

"Being in your arms." I answer as Bucky smiles.

"I've missed this too." Bucky replies as he kisses my head.

"Bucky..." I begin hesitantly.

"Mhm?"

"I don't think I ever apologized for hurting you."

"Babydoll, you don't have to apologize. I know you weren't yourself, if anything I should be apologizing to you."

"What do you mean? You didn't do anything." I speak softly as I prop myself up on my elbows to look at Bucky's features.

"I had a chance to stop you, multiple actually, but I didn't take it because I was afraid of hurting you. If I hadn't been hesitant, all those deaths could've been avoided and you wouldn't be having nightmares constantly because of my lack of action."

I gently reach out and place my hand on the side of Bucky's face, his sad eyes meeting mine with enormous guilt swimming in that blue gaze. I smile weakly and slowly lean towards him, his lips soft and gentle against mine. His flesh hand moves to my head and cups my cheek as he continues the tender kiss.