Bloody Hands and Broken Minds Book 1

Part Four - Chapter 69

It's been seven months since the Blip. That's what people are calling it.

Seven months since he's been gone.

Seven months alone.

Seven months of endless agony and pain.

In the span of those seven months, I've moved out of the compound and into an apartment twenty minutes away. It's a bit crappy but I can't find it in myself to really care. I brought Alpine to the new apartment so at least I'm completely alone. At times it does feel like that though. I miss Bucky more than anything. I thought I knew what pain felt like but nothing comes close to losing my other half. It feels like a piece of me died along with him.

___

"Hey, Mr. Stark, could I talk to you for a second?" Peter asks as Tony tinkers with a new invention.

"What's up kid?" Tony asks without looking away from his project.

"It's about Evelyn." Peter starts and Tony sets his tools down and turns on his stool to face Peter. "Natasha said that she hasn't been eating well or sleeping enough since Bucky disappeared and I'm worried."

Tony closes his eyes and sighs deeply before replying, "Kid, Evelyn and Bucky have a relationship that no word in the human dictionary can describe. They're like— how do I put this...they're like two halves of a heart. When you take one half, the other begins to fail. Bucky and Eve are like two halves of a heart, they need the other half in order to function."

"You can live with half a heart." Peter says.

"That's my second point kid, you can live with half a heart but it takes time for your body to get used to it. That's why you stay in the hospital where the doctors help you function until your body accommodates on its own. Evelyn just needs some time to accommodate living without her half." Tony explains.

"Do you think I could visit her?" Peter asks hopefully.

"I'm sorry kid but Evelyn wants to be alone."

"But you said it yourself that she needs our help!" Peter argues.

"I never said— I gotta stop talking in metaphors around you."

___

A knock echoes at my apartment door. I choose to ignore it and continue watching the stupid show playing on the tv. I'm not paying the show any attention, my mind wandering to thoughts of my late fiancé. I groan in annoyance when a second knock sounds, this one more forceful.

"I already payed my rent! Leave me alone!" I shout from my spot on my small couch.

I swear under my breath as a third knock echoes in the small apartment and Alpine jumps off my lap. I throw the wool blanket off and don't bother pausing the tv as I get up from the couch and walk over to the door. I pull it open and am surprised to see Peter standing in the hall.

"I told Tony not to tell you my address."

"He didn't. I found out myself." Peter replies.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I tug on the sleeves of my oversized sweatshirt which had been one of Bucky's.

I took most of his clothes when I moved, wanting to be able to remember the smell of him for as long as possible. His clothing has long lost his scent but I can't bear to part with them. Tony sent some more of Bucky's things to my apartment and for that I'm grateful because among the box of stuff had been a bottle of Bucky's favored cologne.

"I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Pete, that's really sweet but I'm good. I just need some time away from the compound and the team. It's nothing you did or said I just need to be on my own for a bit. Okay?"