Sparks

Chapter 58

My cheeks are still red when I get into my car, which is honestly strange. I'm not sure I've ever blushed for that long before. I had to walk the whole way back from the woods by myself, which took about half an hour - considering that when I was carried by Jamie it only took ten minutes, either she's really fast or I'm really slow, and I'm inclined to believe the first. I've already seen her unnatural physical abilities, a brisk walking speed that borders on most people's running speed really isn't out of the question.

I blush again, thinking of how she carried me that long. I'm not particularly heavy, but I'm definitely at least two-thirds of her weight and I absolutely could not have carried that much relative to my own weight for ten minutes. Not to mention that her stride never faltered and she didn't slow down until we got to that place with the logs, and she didn't make a single noise of discomfort. She's so strong...

With a sigh I turn on the car and shift the gear to reverse, sliding out of the parking spot with ease of practice. For some reason I already miss her - I'm already looking forward to seeing Jamie tomorrow. What happened to all that numbness I was trying to cultivate? I guess when it comes to Jamie I can never really tell what my emotions are going to do. I've told her more over the past few weeks than I've told literally anyone else ever, and we started out as enemies. Well, I guess she started out as my enemy. I still don't know what I am to her. A friend perhaps?

No...

No, I think I might know what I am to her...

As it would appear my feelings are about to burst out of my chest, I pull over to the side of the highway and put the car in park, then press my hands against my face. I didn't know my face could get this hot.

I make a strange, high-pitched, scream-like noise into my hands. Now, I've never been the best at interpreting signals, but today Jamie offered to murder someone for me. And if that isn't yandere, I don't know what is, but somehow I feel like she wouldn't murder lightly or without good reason. Yes, Jamie's actions in the past have been bad, but I know she isn't a bad person. And she does what she thinks is right. But does she really? Am I just biased? ...Wait, why would I be biased??

I scream into my hands again and curl up tighter in the driver's seat. This is all a freaking mess...

I take a deep breath and force myself to think the words. They hum in my mind like an overexcited swarm of bees, filling me with excitement and terror and, for some reason, joy: There is a good chance that Jamie likes me romantically.

Do I like her romantically, though? I don't know. I have no clue. I don't even know why I'm getting so very excited over the small chance that she does actually like me. It's honestly pathetic - I'm eighteen and have never dated anyone, as I was never interested in anyone who bothered asking, so I've no idea what one is supposed to do in this situation.

But... I do know what I have to do... a small voice in my head whispers, and I become still.

How could I forget? Jacob and Carrie. The diabolical duo. The terrible two. And no matter how many funny nicknames I come up with for them, their role will remain the same: they are my prison guards. The cage may be gilded with food and weapons and the promise of being a superhero, but it's still a cage and one that I am woefully, completely trapped in. And there's my answer. I don't feel anything romantically about Jamie, because I can't feel anything about her. Even if she's a good person, she's still a murderer, and dating her would most likely cause my death. There are no options for me.

A despairing flutter of feeling is raised to life in my chest like one of those carnival games with the clowns, but I push it back down again. I laugh hollowly at my own foolishness and turn the car back on, navigating back onto the road. Stupid, of course, there can't be anything between us. I'd just cause us both to die.