Unrequited Love

Chapter 6

The day ended once again the same way it normally did. Gina got home from her 9-5 job at 7:30 p.m. that evening. Doing her regular routine, she ran a bath while she prepared dinner. Gina's dinners were always quick and microwaveable, apart from that one time when he came over.

 They had begun talking at a much closer level than they were the first time she saw him at the bar. That night at the bar, he was the one who came and sat next to her. As hard as she could, she tried to ignore the sparkle in his hazel-brown eyes. He ordered two drinks. At that moment, she figured he must have been expecting someone until she saw him chug both glasses. Seeing his quick attack on the drinks, she snickered. He then turned to her and asked her why she laughed at him, to which she responded "no particular reason." She asked him if he would like another seeing that he is donning them very fast. They both chuckled a bit and that night they both closed the bar. On a normal occasion, she would have brought home her prey, but tonight was different. This one was different. This one she could not wrap her mind around, this one she was willing to know. Therefore, this one she decided not to take home, because this one was not her prey. She seemed more like his prey. Despite all her efforts never to take him to her apartment, he ended up there one night. 

They had met for dinner that night at Frizno's Café and bar. Gina got to their meeting spot on time. While waiting for him, she thought of asking him about his relation affiliations, as she feels she deserves to know. He arrived five minutes after she did. They entered the restaurant and sat at a corner table. After the waiter had attended to them and took their orders, she tried with all she could to start the conversation. Feeling her discomfort and difficulty, she decided oh what the hell! It is either he has a girlfriend or not. With that thought, she proceeded to ask him about his relational affiliations. To this, he responded "I am currently involved. Why you ask?"

"No reason. I was just curious." His response and her reply got her stomach tied up in knots. She has never been this attracted to anyone before. All the time she was ever attracted to anyone, it was merely sexual not emotional. What is it about him that had her so drawn? What was it about him that has her acting a mental fool? What was it? Preponderantly, her attraction to him is growing more both physically and emotionally. Gina had never wanted anyone both physically and emotionally. The last time she did, she ended up in a lovesick relationship. Nevertheless, that is a story for another time. Feeling her mind beginning to trail off to unhappy and disappointing thoughts, Gina quickly revert and went back to thinking about him."So if you are involved, why are you out with me then? And I am positive you know how I feel about you.""You are positive I know how you feel about me?""Ok then, let's assume that you don't. So in a hypothetical world, I am completely drawn by you, and all I can think about is being with you day and night, be it emotional or not. All I can ever think about is you because I want you.""Ok then. Hypothetically, I would refuse and refute that hypothetical world.""Ok, so hypothetically we have gotten that out of the way." Gina felt ultimately crushed, knowing that even though she used a hypothetical situation knew she was telling him how she felt. That she had fallen for him. Ten minutes later, the waiter brought their food. Gina had ordered Parmesan chicken in oyster sauce and he had garlic chicken with cheese sauce. They ate in silence for approximately six minutes, which to Gina felt like an hour. Not being able to take the silence anymore, she tried to lighten the mood by asking him about work. He was a Technology Specialist. He majors in Data Security and is the head of his division in the area. Asking him about work was not where her interest lied. Her interest was in all the thoughts screaming at her in her head. Scolding her that she made a terrible mistake, and before it was too late she needs to stay away from him. The night went by as a torturing one for her, but she managed. When dinner was over, she had jokingly asked him if he wanted to come over for dessert. To this, he answered in the affirmative. Shockingly she said, "Ok then."On their walk to the parking lot, all Gina could think about was why he didn't turn her down if he doesn't find her attractive. Walking ahead of him and lost in thoughts, Gina missed a step and on her way to the ground, he lunged forward and caught her. Frightened as she was he held her for a few seconds before she gathered herself and stood up. "Thank you." Her gratitude was followed by thoughts of the few seconds spent in his arms. His hold was firm as it was strong. His breath on her face for no matter how short the time sent her into a trance. She began thinking about what it would feel like. His arms enveloping her, his warm breath on her face, pulling her in, forcing her to crave him more, his medium hands cupping her breasts as his crotch enlarges. "Gina? I think you just passed your car.""Huh? Oh yeah." He had interrupted her thoughts; her boning thoughts of him. "Ok. Let's go."They arrived at Gina's apartment in less than twenty minutes. She was a fast driver and bearing in mind the way in which events had been unfolding both throughout her night and in her head, she needed the quick drive. On their way in between breaths, he tried to start a conversation to which she was distant and monosyllabic. "So this is my home. It may not really be humble but I try. Come on in."He entered her apartment with her on his tail. Entering after him gave the place an entirely different and new feeling. Somehow, she liked it. She looked at him eyeing her black leather sofa that was defined by purple and black plush cushions. His eyes continued a survey of her apartment and they looked pleased, especially when he laid eyes on her entertainment center, which was made of a 52'' plasma screen and a full layout of black furnished surroundings. There was a large silver radio with huge boxes at the bottom middle of the furniture. On the left, there was an entire DVD collection and on the right, there were CDs alphabetically classified. He reminded her of her alphabetical CD structure. "So what are we drinking? I have water, soda, juice?""I thought I came here for dessert." He said this with the sexiest smile she had ever seen. It was a smile that began with his eyes, which sparkled behind his lenses then traveled to the curves of his lips and spread with nothing short of a spark. It was possible to see how handsome and beautiful this character was, she made a mental note of calling him "handsome". At that moment, Gina felt her insides melt as she realized that she would love to wake up to that smile one day. If even for once. "Ok. Dessert it is. I can make you a banana split sundae or a chocolate sundae or we can have cake and ice cream."Gina went to her kitchen while he waited in her living room and made him a chocolate sundae and a slice of chocolate mocha cake, she got plain ice cream for herself. After making dessert, they were both sitting on the sofa eating. He liked it. She liked that he liked it. "So question, if you were hypothetically single would you have hypothetically agreed to be with me?""Hmm...hypothetically? I don't think so, because the feelings I have for you are strictly platonic.""Why are you so bent on saying no to me? I am here throwing myself at you. I am dying to be with you. I have been falling in love with you for the past few months. Moreover, I can't help but think about you. I want you, Carlisle. I am in love with you. I have been from the first time I laid eyes on you." With a sigh of defeat, Gina continued, "Look me in the eye and tell me it will never work between us."All this time Carlisle was standing in front of her. He looked at her and tried to force himself not to see the tears welled up in her eyes. Fixing his jacket and taking his eyes off her, he said the most hurtful thing he could to her. Even though she had played over the possibility of hearing it repeatedly in her head, it did not cushion the blow. That night as she followed him to the door, he assured her that he would be able to get himself home. Not that she was in the mood to take him anyway. As he said goodbye, he hugged her tightly and with a sigh escaping his lips he said goodnight. That was the last time Gina had spoken to or seen Carlisle Harte. The day after she texted him and he did not respond. A few more times after that she called and texted him. At one point, she visited his home when a woman answered the door. She said he was in the shower and that Gina could either wait or leave a message. Stating that her reason for dropping by was to check if he was ok, she neither left a message nor stayed. That day Gina walked away from his apartment and decided she needed to get her shit together.

Now it's seven months later and she is standing in her kitchen thinking about him. He is still having an effect on her, to the point where he is affecting her game. She finds it very hard to focus on choosing non-disappointing preys. She is now fucking up her life. All because of one man. One man who will never love her. One man who will never see her the way she does him.

The timer went on the microwave while Gina was on her way to the bathroom to turn off the tap in the bath. She poured bath salt into the tub and watched it fizz. Then she poured in an apricot bubble bath. Gina loved the scent of apricots. She then thought about pouring herself some scotch and taking a drink before taking her bath. Following through with her thoughts, she poured herself some scotch, sat on the edge of the bath, and swallowed every drop. Getting up from the edge of the bath, she made her way to her front door, to check if she had closed the door. Indeed she did. Closing her door was the first thing she did whenever she enters her apartment. Returning to the bathroom, Gina removed her bathrobe and stepped into the warm water. As she sat in the bath, the warmth enveloped her body and brought her comfort. Comfort that told her that everything will be ok. Comfort that told her that it won't be too long before she is ok. Comfort that made her feel better.