To the Stars and Back

Chapter Fourteen

    The knock on my balcony door startled me. Not that it should've since Sawyer had been doing it every night for the past two nights; it was just raining tonight. I rolled off my bed to open the door, seeing him through the glass. He was soaked from head to toe and his hair was dripping. He looked super duper cute like that. To face facts, he always looked super duper cute. I subtly glanced at both his arms to see his black t-shirt tightly wrapped around his biceps. It was a challenge, but I managed to keep my composure.
    I couldn't help the self-conscious smile that crept across my face when he saw me in my jammies. Yes, the last couple nights, I was in them as well. I just wasn't accustomed to being visited by boys at ten at night. I pulled on his arm to bring him inside only to have him deadweight me and glance at my locked bedroom door. "Nothing's gonna happen," I assured him. "Come inside. It's cold."
    Sawyer sighed. "Fine." When he stepped inside, I threw the door shut behind him and he bent down to kiss me. "What are you up to?"
    "Oh, nothing. But I'm about to get you a blanket so you don't get hyperthermia," I turned on my heel to get a blanket for him from my closet.
    "Ha, you're cute. If I were to get hyperthermia, it would be out there in the pouring rain," he said matter-of-factly. I playfully punched him for it as I handed him a quilt that my mom made for me when I was seven. Sawyer snorted some. "Hello Kitty?"
    "It's the only one I have, now shut up and come here," I ordered, hopping onto my bed, wrapping myself under my thick comforter. I leaned against the headboard. He followed behind me, laying over the covers beside where I leaned and he wrapped the Hello Kitty blanket around me. Not himself. I rolled my eyes at that as I lay my head on his upper chest. Despite being wet, he was warm.
    Sawyer kissed the top of my head. "What do you want for your birthday?" Oh yeah. It was my birthday tomorrow. My eighteenth birthday that I'd always dreamt of, yet I forgot about it.
    I shook my head. "Don't get me anything." I didn't like gifts. It made me feel guilty when people spent money on me.
    "I guess I will have to figure out myself then."
    I lifted my head up to look at him. "Sawyer, I'm serious." It was genuine. All I wanted from him was what he was currently giving me and that was his affection.
    "Yeah, so am I." He gave me a challenging look that managed to crack a giggle from me.
    I lay back down. "Fine."
    "That's my Atlas," he muttered.
    Did he know he said it? How long had he wanted to call me that? He'd said 'my Atlas' as if I were his girlfriend or something. I wasn't. Whatever it was that had been going on had been going for a little over three days. The feeling of belonging to someone felt nice.
    I lifted my head again to look at him to see that he was smiling at me. I flushed some. "What are we?" I asked him, eager to know what he thought we were. I caught that I was his Atlas, but what were we together?  Just friends that kissed and snuggled and acted like a couple ought to act sounded... Odd.
    He looked taken aback by the question, his smile not faltering, though turning into something more soft. "I don't know. All I know is what I wanna be."
    I tilted my head, intrigued."And what do you wanna be?"
    "Yours."
    I knew that he liked me in high school and that he got to like like me at work, but all that was to me was an infatuation; something that could last for years that wasn't love at all. Now, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he cared for me more than he claimed to. Like liking a person was only a crush. It wasn't so whole-hearted as loving someone. I was unsure if he loved me, but I knew for certain that he had more than a crush on me. There was something there that I couldn't grasp.
    I only pecked his cheek. "Okay, Snookums." I cringed saying it. I came up with that nickname in my Sophomore year of high school and I really wanted to put it to good use. I never got the opportunity since I never talked to boys and therefore never had a boyfriend to call that.
    Not that Sawyer was my boyfriend. I was just comfortable with him.
    His eyes widened."W-what?" His whole body shook in an attempt to not call attention from Dad. The first time--Tuesday--that he'd snuck over, I told him that Dad got very angry when woken up and to be as silent as he could. I didn't necessarily lie.
    I smiled at him with pride. "Don't you like it?" Of course he didn't. I was fully aware that it was awful.
    Sawyer shook his head. "Of all things, Atlas, why must you choose to call me Snookums?"
" I think it fits you quite well if I do say so myself."
    He sighed. "I take offense to that."
    "Well then get used to it, 'cause you're about to get a whole summer of it." I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck.
    "I like the part about the whole summer." He sounded content.
    "As you should."
    Minutes of silence passed to where I had no idea what time it was. I didn't care about anything except about where I was now. With him.
    Sawyer's voice stopped my eyes from fluttering. "Atlas?"
    "Hm?"
    "Do you..." He trailed off, hesitant to finish his question. "Do you want kids?"
    I was too tired to think about why he was asking that. I would ponder on it later. I only nodded. "I want two boys. Elijah and Thatcher."
    I expected a laugh only to have him not laugh. I liked that he didn;t mock me when I told him something silly like that. Taylor and Sofia often teased me when I told them those things. "You can't choose the genders," they would tell me. I loved them both; just, who were they to tell me something realistic when their expectations for love were so unrealistic.
"I can see that." I could hear a smile in his voice.
    I yawned. "What about you?"
    He didn't take time to think. "I want one little girl. I haven't gone so far as naming her though."
    I pictured Sawyer in the next few years with a little brunette girl over his shoulders that looked just like him. It was a beautiful image that gave me cause to giggle.
    "Hey, what's that about?" He chuckled.
    "It's a secret," I replied, too exhausted to say more. The crook of his neck was too cozy to not fall asleep in.

    I awoke the next morning sprawled across my bed like a starfish. I'd surely moved a lot through the night. I glanced beside me to see that Sawyer was no longer there. Instead, I saw a note.
Happy birthday, my Atlas. :)

My parents gave you the day off. That doesn't mean that you can stay away though. Come over after the store closes.

To my house... Not the store...

I have a surprise for you.

    I silently cursed him. His so-called surprise had better not been a hassle to get or he would get a tongue lashing from me.
    I rolled over, taking my phone from my nightstand.
    Sofia: Feliz aniversário, menina bonita. Eu amo Você. I translated the Portugese in my head using the basic knowledge that Sofia had taught me over the years.
    Taylor: Happy birthday, Attie. I freaking love you!!! It was followed by at least a dozen hearts.
    Audrey: Happy birthday, adult. Way to make me feel old. Love ya, sissy.
    I was eighteen. I could leave today and never be forced to return. It felt as if I accomplished a milestone and it brought me insane amounts of joy and excitement.
    I was free.

    When I finished dressing for the day, I headed downstairs to a certain smell in the kitchen and I heard sizzling on the stove. Bacon. I turned into the kitchen to see Dad making breakfast. He must have been incredibly sober this morning. He used to make breakfast like these for every birthday growing up. This was the first time he'd done it in ages. And he was sober.
    I pinched myself to test if it was a dream, but I only winced. This was real. Dad flipped his head from the stove to see me. "Happy birthday, Attie," he said with a smile.
    I nearly cried in relief that he had remembered my birthday; even took off work to spend it with me. It was like a beautiful miracle that would taunt me for the rest of my life. After today, he would go back to drinking, no doubt. I had to cherish this while I had it.
    "Thanks, Daddy," I said, sitting down.
     He dropped two pancakes on my plate. "Eat up." I reached for the butter and the syrup. "I'm taking you to the science museum in Oklahoma City today."
       I beamed. The science museum in Oklahoma City. I'd been to small science museums around Trenton, but they were boring and there was not much to look at. This one was the real deal for somebody who loved stars and planets as much as me. There was a planetarium inside this one where I could see more than what I saw from my balcony or the backyard grass.
        I scarfed down my food, giving Dad time to finish his before we finally left. Oklahoma City was a two and a half hour drive, so I texted Sawyer to tell him that I might me a little later than closing and that I was sorry. I added a little "<3" too.
       He wrote back telling me to have fun with one of his cute smiley faces.
       After looking around the museum at all the exhibits, Dad and I made our way to the planetarium. It was like a dream come true there at the museum; like it was where I was meant to be, despite not having a scientific bone in my body.
  I could've fallen asleep as I lay down in the planetarium next door to Dad. An instrumental Pink Flloyd played softly on the speakers, relaxing everybody. It was as if we were truly in space. Above us on the dome, the night sky was projected. The stars twinkled and I could find constellations within and in the center, there was a hint of the milky way. Every now and then, there was a shooting star that flew across. I felt like I was staring at the actual sky. "Thank you, Daddy," I whispered across the aisle to where he sat.
      He said nothing, but a smile appeared on his face. I glanced back at the dome for about fifteen more minutes when it was time to leave. I stayed close behind Dad, following him out the doors. "I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go."
      I was ready to go. Dad had given me a great day. Now, it was time to see what Sawyer had planned for me. What was that boy up to? I nodded. "Let's get outta here."