the devil wears a suit and tie • billy russo

chapter 11

Despite the fact that he'd done his best to forget about the past, Frank's birthday was still hard on Billy, and Iz could see it no matter how hard he tried to pretend that he was fine.

"Sometimes I just wonder if there's any way things could've gone differently," he said quietly as they sat on the couch watching TV before he had to leave. She had plans to get dinner with Agent Madani that night, and was planning to leave soon.

Isabella turned down the volume and took his hand, "There isn't a single alternate scenario where you and I would've made it out alive, and you know that."

"I could've killed him myself," he looked up at her with watering eyes, "I could've slipped something in his drink, given him a heart attack or something. Then the others wouldn't have had to die, and he wouldn't have had to suffer without them for so long."

"You can't waste your time thinking about what could've happened, Billy. All we can do now is play the hand we've been dealt."

"I need a drink," he muttered and tried to get up from the couch, but she refused to release his hand.

"Not if you're driving."

"I'm not driving," he pulled his hand away, "you are."

She rolled her eyes, "Are you seriously planning to get that shitfaced?"

"Yes!" he shouted from the kitchen.

"Well I can't give you a ride, I'm planning to meet with Dinah tonight."

He reappeared with a glass of whiskey, "I didn't know that."

"You should, I told you about it this morning."

He shrugged and sat back down next to her, "I must've forgotten. What are you doing with her?"

"Meeting up for dinner."

"Just dinner?"

"I dunno..." Iz grinned cheekily, "we'll see."

"I don't like this," he murmured, "it just doesn't feel right."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "You wish you were doing it instead?"

"That isn't what I said... it doesn't matter which one of us is doing it, it still feels wrong because we're married, Iz. You're trying to get pregnant. I can't help but wonder if there's a better way to do this. If word gets out that you're messing around with her, we'll be ruined."

"We'll be ruined if we can't control her."

"Rawlins has people who could manage her."

"Well I don't trust him, and the only way we keep ourselves off his hitlist is being useful. If he sees us as a weak link, we're dead."

He shook his head, "That isn't true, him and I made a deal."

"Do you honestly believe that? I know you don't. I think you know that I have to handle Dinah. It's the only way we can properly keep tabs on things."

He runs his hands through his hair in frustration, "This was never supposed to be your problem... I was supposed to deal with this whole thing."

"It became my problem when you asked me to marry you, so I'm going to solve it how I see fit, unless you have a better idea," she got up off the couch and made her way towards the door, grabbing her purse and coat on the way, "Try not to get too drunk tonight. If you crash your car, I won't buying you a new one, and if you puke all over the floor, I'm not cleaning it up."

"Just cancel on her, please," he was practically begging, and then his voice softened, "I need you tonight, Iz. Just tell her what's going on, and it'll end up playing perfectly into your story about how awful we feel about Frank's situation. Just come hang out with Curtis and me. I can't do this alone."