Raising Love : Introducing A New Baby to Your Child and Other Parentisms

Chapter 1 - Plans and Recreation

When you were planning your first child there were certain factors that you would have considered, such as your monthly income and expenses, whether your child would be raised by you, or your spouse, or by a nanny, or at day care, etc. how much maternity / paternity leave you would get, the suitability of your living space, and so on. Or perhaps your first baby just "happened"... sometimes things happen. That's life. The important thing is that we step up when life "happens".

When Jared and I first got married, I was taking oral contraceptives (which were working very well) and we were not too concerned about setting a fixed timeline for having our children. We had not even decided on whether we would start a family right away, or if we would wait a few years. However, a few months into our marriage, we were faced with a situation that forced us to choose who to believe - Jesus or the Doctor. (We will cover this in more detail in our next book about the testimony of our family)

Being rebellious, we chose to believe God. In doing so, we decided to stop trying not to have a baby and just see how it went...(J)I decided to try my hardest and breakthrough every barrier in front of us...Ok, I decided to see how it went, anyway...

I got pregnant with Jesse 2 months later, and apart from the general pregnancy concerns and planning, my pregnancy went very well. However, Jesse had a very difficult start in life and, for several reasons, he did not reach his developmental milestones as other babies did.

This placed Jared and I in a dilemma. Jared had always wanted 2 children and I had always wanted 3. Prior to having Jesse we always thought that we would concentrate on the first baby first, and finalise the "number of children" issue at a later stage. However, when Jesse was born, we were thrown into state of shock, and for years afterwards we would blow back and forth regarding the topic of a second child.

We knew that (in theory) a sibling would assist him in his development. We also wanted him to have a little friend to play with, and to identify with, but at the same time we wanted to ensure that he got all our time and attention. We also couldn't bear the thought of Jesse or the (hypothetical) second child being neglected or feeling unloved.

With idea of the next child on the back burner, we poured all of our attention and focus on Jesse and we were happy.