If Only You Can Stay (BL/BXB)

VII

“I bumped into this guy and he asked the receptionist of the gym to look over me and tried to make me wait for him. He was at the gym that I went into hiding after the dogs attacked.” I confessed.

“Oh, is he cute?” She asked.

“Uh, Tita??” I asked. My eyes widened at what she just asked. She shrugged as she walked towards the kitchen and I followed her as I waited for another response from her little remarks.

“I am asking you if he's cute. The boy you bumped into.”

“Uhm. I couldn’t tell. I didn't stare enough to observe his facial structure.” I told her. Complete lie. He was. I had to admit. And I ran away, before anyone could notice.

“You know. You're just like me. I ran away from cute things, especially when it tickles here.” She pointed at her heart.

“Tita?” I raised my voice in disbelief.

“What?” She giggled.

“It's just extremely coincidental. It's just for this night. Certainly, I wouldn't be able to meet him again.” I told her.

“Okay.” She defeatedly replied. 

“But I have to admit, he's cute though.” I could feel my cheeks burning at my own confession. I couldn’t believe that my own Aunt would push me to admit that a guy was cute. I never ever thought that someone might like to hear me talk about how someone was cute. My mother tried to always listen to every word I said, and whenever she heard me talk about boys, or even pronounce a word in a soft manner, the way whispers were told, she would mock the way I did them. But aunt, she was trying to push me to admit that I found someone attractive.

It was odd. I would never find it as a form of mockery, or an insult. It was just a little tease that I made an interaction with a guy. She was accepting. She was kind. That’s why I want to be honest on the obvious matter as I did not want to feel like I was fooling someone, especially her, who would be going to provide me not just food and shelter but a home that I could run to and find solace in this country.

“You don't have to explain yourself.”

“But I haven't told you a single thing.”

“You don't owe anyone explanations. Not even me, your sister or even a stranger. You know yourself and you are valid.”

“Thank you.” I went in for a hug. She was trying to hug me back but both of her hands were a mess from cooking. For the first time, I never felt like I was trying to bottle up all of myself just to exude to be someone I did not want to be to begin with.

“Well, as long as you are not stepping on anyone then we're all good. Unless, they’re extremely out of hand—like your mother.”

“Like my mother?” She motioned for me to sit on the dining table. She went to the kitchen and got back with a small casserole of savory Adobo whose soy sauce mixed with the aroma of garlic and onion with the addition of fine dried laurel leaves thickened the air. I couldn’t help but make my mouth water. When I thought of her being done with serving the food, she brought a plate of fried tilapia.

The dinner was fantastic and I didn't want to be someone who just eats and goes. I stood up and picked up the plates and washed them. Auntie did not want me to do any chores but I insisted. It was the only thing I could do. Once done, I tied the plastic bag of trash and took it out.

The strides I made were cautious as any wrong move, I could fall with this heavy trash in my hands. I could be swimming in this bag full of garbage and the stink would soon wash me up if I did not do anything careful.

A dog barked nearby ang my knees shook as if the terror of the earlier nightmare resurfaced into my memory. I became alerted of my surroundings and tried to conquer fear just to get this bag out of my hand.

“Arf.” I jolted in surprise when a sudden sneak attack had pinch my sides. I held my tongue not to scream. I was caught off guard. I left out a yelp. But then a giggle erupted as if my demise was so fun to watch.

I turned around and tilted my head back at the guy whom I just bumped into. His laugh was annoying and it was driving me mad. I turned my back at him and decided to make the last remaining steps I had to take just to get to the trash bins.

“Hey. I really got you there.” He told me.

“It's not funny.” I whispered.

“You should have seen your face.”

“You should have seen your face.” I clapped back, rolled my eyes and proceeded to do my thing. 

“What's wrong with mine? I knew I was that handsome.” He told me. I glanced over my shoulder to look at what he was doing. I didn't even notice that he also made a few steps to follow me here, just trailing behind me. His smile dropped and he put his two fingers on his chin and jerked his head side to side as if he was looking at the image of himself in front of the nonexistent mirror.

Once I closed the bin and decided to turn back around, his frame was big enough to block my view of the door. He wore this usual dri-fit shirt that most gym-goers’ usual attire. I made a step to the side so that I could make myself a clear view of my ultimate goal: to get inside the house before this conversation went on, which was one of the things I feared.

But then, he mirrored my move and stepped to the side. I let out an irritated groan. He was amused by it. I made a step on my opposite side. And as expected, he did the same.

“Can you just move?”

“Are you new here?”

I gave him a look. Replying to him would be the worst of all decisions I would be ever making in my life. So I held my tongue and just raised a brow.

“What's your name?”

***

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