If Only You Can Stay (BL/BXB)

II

The plane landed and soon enough I would be seeing my Aunt. My hands were cold and shivering as I kept blowing air to ease the nerves that made me uncomfortable for the last fourteen hours of my flight.

I did not prepare for this kind of coldness. I hadn't even experienced snow. The clothes I wear were not that thick enough to prevent the breeze from entering my fabric. Once I was walking towards the exit, I saw a few people getting reunited with their loved ones. Children welcomed their parents with warm hugs and love-filled smiles. Spouses did the same with their spouses after they saw each other.

"Van!" I heard someone calling out from afar. My head turned to the direction where the voice was heard and there was Auntie.

"Auntie." I called out as I dragged my luggage towards her. Just when she was about my reach, I did not hesitate to give her a hug and squeezed her smaller frame compared to mine.

"I knew it. I know you will forget to bring a thick jacket or something." She told me as she cupped her hands on my cheeks and gave me a smile. She held my shivering hands and rubbed them gently to warm them up.

"Here." She handed me the jacket that had been on her shoulder for I guessed long enough.

"Thank you, Auntie." I gave her another hug.

"Let's go. I am sure that you need some rest." Auntie suggested. I gave her a nod and dragged me out of the airport.

The drive was full of laughter and awkwardness at the same time. I hadn't seen my Auntie for quite awhile now and it never ever crossed my mind that she would be so nice as I only saw her during reunions with an intimidating look that most of my cousins felt a little bit uncomfortable going on around with her. In my case, I always got a call from her. My sister and I were the only ones closer to her with almost daily small chitchats. She also knew about my bullying incident and how my own parents weren't supportive of my sexuality. My sister told her about it and I did not even know that Auntie had a plan to take me here in the United States, paid for an exchange program for a semester, away from my bullies, away from my parents and unfortunately, away from my sister who was always on my side.

"The field was covered with snow." I whispered under my breath.

"Yeah. Oh, it's your first time." My auntie nearly exclaimed, darting her eyes between me and the road.

My eyes went to the surroundings and every part of the street was covered with white thick ice just like we had seen in the movies. I was not able to comprehend that the thought of experiencing snow would be happening now. The sight formed my lips into a smile. I remembered how Ate Julia jokingly said that I should go get her a handful of one and mail it to her as if it was not going to melt on its way to the Philippines.

But I wanted to know one thing: are snowflakes real? I wanted to see it in person. Maybe later or tomorrow as I was so tired from the fourteen hour long flight.

The spare room that Aunt said she cleaned was empty. From a single bed and a white mattress, an empty closet, plain painted walls and windows that overlooked the empty streets, a bedside wooden table with another layer below where a lamp was on, it was still empty. I missed how movie posters were hung on the walls, books that collected dust and journals that were laid on top of one another as memories went on each day. I missed the smell of my bed. The laughter of my sister filled the room. An illusion that had reminded me that she was nowhere near me now. The cologne of my sister as she kept walking inside my room before she left for work to check herself into the biggest mirror in the house. The scent was unfamiliar yet it was enough to make my tears fall down my cheeks.

"Honey. I'm so sorry." My bag dropped and I covered my eyes with the palm of both of my hands. I felt like memories had been stripped off of me.

I sobbed. Arms were so comforting that it made me fall to my Auntie's shoulders as the sudden realization of being far away from my sister that had her hand reached out to me when I broke down.

"I just miss Ate." I whispered. I cried, and cried, then cried. The tears subsided after a couple of minutes. The way my Auntie tapped my shoulder and trailed her palm around my back helped a lot. My sister did that. That reminded me of her.

"I think you need some rest. I promise you'll be okay. I promise." She convinced me and I gave her a nod.

I laid the back of my head on the soft pillow that accompanied me throughout the night. The bed comforted me as I fell into a deep slumber. Maybe, I was just tired.

I just needed some rest. That's what I thought until I woke up. The sun had already risen and illuminated the night skies. I still had the clothes I wore back home until I got myself here, the one I would be calling home for now.

I quickly searched for my phone, looking around and digging into pockets. And when I got it, I quickly opened it to check the time but I forgot to change it before we landed so I had no idea what time of the day it was. I even barely knew anything about phone settings I should set up, like SIM cards and such and I hadn't done my research properly. I just needed to connect to a Wifi and I would be probably okay.

I got off my bed and took off the jacket that Auntie had brought for me. She was nice. She was thoughtful enough to assume that I wasn't wearing any thick clothes.

I went down the stairs and looked for her. She was in the kitchen doing something. Cooking? I wasn't quite sure.

"Auntie?" I called out. My voice was frail and it turned out the words that had escaped my mouth became a loud whisper.

"You're awake." She nearly panicked and ordered me to sit down in any chair around her dining table. I smiled at her.

"I have someone coming tonight. Their son was attending Bennett High School, too." My eyes darted towards her.

***

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