Cap

Abandonment

Ari's Pov:

It was a cold and wet December night and here I was on a park bench trynna cover up with a coat that is too thin. I know y'all probably like how I get here and where are my parents at??? Well all I got is a naive mother and an abusive step "father."I ran away about three weeks ago from my mothers house because I was tired for being emotionally and physically abused by Frank aka my step "father" and his actions going unnoticed by my mother. Frank would beat me until I couldn't stand and tell me things like "your the reason your father left" or "Kyle died because he couldn't stand to be around you". I don't really blame my mother because she's a women whose been abused her whole life and the little bit of happiness that she ever had was taken away from her. Kyle was my older brother who sadly passed away a year ago due to gun violence. His death caused something in my mother to break. She love us both so much but Kyle was the child she always said saved her life. It's like she in another world and I'm stuck in reality, I didn't want to leave her but I had a feeling it was gonna get way worse if I didn't leave. But we will talk about the rest of that another day for now let's go back to the present.

In these three weeks I've been homeless I've still been attending school because I only have five months left until the last day of school so dropping out would be pointless. School also provides me with two free meals a day, I get the third meal from my job. When I ran away I was gonna just leave with the clothes on my back but since I'm only 17 I had to at least take some clothes and a little bit of money. I work afternoons at the local Corner store in my old neighborhood, its a little rough but hey they feed me, give me time to do my homework and give me a paycheck. Samir even lets me off early enough for me to go to the shelter even though he doesn't know that I'm homeless, nobody knows. I keep my self up enough for people not to know cause I know if I don't CPS would get involved and I really can't handle that right now.

Right now I'm sleeping on the park bench because a few days ago a lady with two small children needed a spot at the shelter and since it was too full I was one of the volunteers who left so they can have a place to sleep. I would never neglect anyone with children or a child because children are always innocent and don't deserve to struggle. I know some consider me a child myself but I can handle my own. I don't do hand outs cause ain't nothing free.

I set my self an alarm to wake up around 4:00am just so I have enough time to go to the gas station where this old lady lets me shower so I have enough time to dry off and charge my flip phone. I got a flip cause frank broke my other phone when I tried to call the police on him and he said "police don't save ugly girls". After that I have to catch the bus all the way out to the suburbs where my school is located that's like a 30 minute train ride, I glad I only have to pay $0.75 since I'm still in school. After school I have to catch the train back out here in time for work and then find a private and secluded place to rest my head and then repeat.

Sometimes I wondered how life would be if Kyle didn't leave us...My mother wouldn't be in the condition she's in. Frank wouldn't even exist in our lives, and I wouldn't be homeless. Sometimes I wish I could at least just hold him while he tells me everything is going to be okay, I miss his warmth and his company. Even though I like being by myself I would love someone here to have my back and that I could talk to without judgement. At the end of the day that's a wish and this is my reality... So I gotta get on my shit and make a better life for myself cause right now I'm the only one who got me!