Secrets Within - Carol x Mildred

Chapter 6

Mildred Ratched

Screams and cries filled the air around her. Her head was spinning, her heart racing uncontrollably in her chest.
"Nurse", someone called and Mildred turned around, her mind slowly clearing from the fog inside.
Finally, she remembered where she was.
The big, dark green tent was crowded, nurses where scampering around between the countless field beds.
"Nurse!", the same voice repeated, snapping her fingers in front of Mildred's face until she finally looked at her. The older woman's face was marked from constant stress and worry but somewhere behind her eyes, there was still a little undefeatable flame burning, holding on to the last remaining pieces of wax and wick. "Press here", she instructed and Mildred obeyed, pressing her thin fingers onto the gaping wound. Thick blood started to well up between her fingers. At first, she looked at the increasing amount until she felt her stomach flip. Before she had to gag, she quickly looked up to the roof of the tent, that was laying in the dark. The only light came from little gas lamps here and there, that were only illuminating the tent just enough.
The blood was warm between her fingers. It wasn't the first time she found herself in this situation but it was just as bad as the first time.

From far away echoed the sound of an explosion, making everyone in the tent jump in fear. The seemingly never-ending war had marked them all.

Suddenly, all the sounds around her stopped. A bright light at the far end illuminated the tent into a blinding white light. It was so bright that Mildred hat to squint her eyes shut at first.
She stood up, slowly moving towards the light. Not caring about the blood dripping from her fingers nor that she left the soldier behind.
It was as if her feet were moving on its own, the light was so alluring, almost like it was calling her.
As she slowly stepped closer, the calmer she got and the saver she felt. It was almost as everything that happened in the past months was erased from her mind. The war. The suffering. All the lives she saved and all the lives she took. It was as if the angel of mercy did not exist anymore. If she got closer to the source of the light, she would be safe. It would protect her from her past. At least that's what it felt like.

Slowly, the light transformed into the shape of a human. When Mildred realized who was standing in front of her, she came to a halt.
Only by looking into the piercing grayish blue eyes she would have know who it was.
Carol was standing right in front of her, her pale skin illuminating everything around her, eyes fixated on Mildred, who still was unable to move. Her own heartbeat quickened in her chest with a rush of nervousness pulsating in her veins. It felt like she was frozen in place forever. Then she took a leap forward, crashing into Carol's arms.
The other woman pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping her safe arms around her slim body. From one moment to another, all her fear was gone. She felt warm and at peace for the first time since she could remember.

Mildred felt tears of facilitation escaping her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. Never in her life had she felt this good. It was as if all the trauma she experienced during her childhood and the war was gone. Taken from her mind.
She lifted her gaze and met Carol's eyes. Glancing down at her lips, Mildred pulled herself closer to the other woman. A desperate desire to feel her close was burning inside her. Feeling Carol's warm breath on her skin, she leaned into press her lips against the blondes.

Then her own voice echoed through the air, repeating the words she had said to the Carol earlier.
"We thread and lock up people like you in Lucia. Do not compare yourself to me. I'm nothing like you."

With a gush of wind, Carol was gone, and with her the feeling of security. Mildred collapsed onto the floor, even more tears where rolling down her cheeks. She glared down at her hands resting in her lap, only now recalling the, now dried, blood on her hands.
The tent, previously pleasantly silent, was now filled with the screams of the injured again, most of them begging for mercy. Mildred started screaming on top of her lungs until her throat hurt, this was too much for her to handle anymore.

Mildred woke up from her sleep. Shooting up to a sitting position, then realizing that she indeed was screaming out loud. Skin covered in sweat, her whole body shaking violently, she slowly comprehended that this was all just a bad dream. She was safe here in the motel. She retold herself over and over again that she was safe here in California, the war and her days as a field nurse were long over. She would be okay here.
Those flashback dreams appeared quite often in her sleep, almost every night, but this time was different than before. Never before had she experienced a sequence where she felt secure and at peace. And especially Carol had never appeared in her dreams before.

Carol.

Her heart started pounding faster again, but she tried best to ignore it, instead she wiped her tears away.
"Oh lord."