Insomniac Party

2 Captain 2

This girl. She's beautiful. I wish she would stop letting herself be treated like an emotional punching bag. Smiles is so nice to the touch, but so rough on the inside. I can't believe I was with her. I'm so angry at how she plays with Frosty. How she treats people in general.
Frosty. I can't decide if there is anything more than a physical attraction, but man is she beautiful. There used to be more. I really liked her. I just, I don't know anymore. I hope I can figure it out. We should be meeting soon, and I don't want to just use her. She deserves to be loved.
But then, there's Beanie. She's gorgeous and funny and nice. I really enjoy talking to her. I was telling Frosty about it. I don't think Frosty likes it very much when I talk about other girls, but she does her best to try and act supportive. We are just friends after all. Besides, she's got Arms and Hats. I want to be wanted, to have a girl in front of me. To be touched.
There's just too much. I don't know what I want. Skirts likes me and I don't like her back. Frosty likes me and I'm really attracted to her physically, but I don't know if there is anything more. I mean I know we won't get anywhere, not like this. Beanie is so beautiful and nice and I think we really hit it off. Smiles still wants me. What am I supposed to do?
Lingering thoughts keep me up at night. Trying to decide. Talking to different people. I hardly sleep anymore. Talking all night, taking the early bus for my zero hour class.
Sticks gives me a hard time. Flirting around with my ex and telling me I should stop talking to the friends I have now. He's just one of the guys. We joke around a lot, and talk about girls. He knows about Hair. He told Frosty I slept with her. He was a jerk about it and made it sound much more sexual than it was, but it wasn't a nice conversation to have with Frosty. To tell her I had been with another girl the day she had invited me over to meet her. She just asked me if I enjoyed it.
It was after that weekend that things got bad. Smiles came to school yelling at me that Frosty had been really upset. I kept trying to talk to Frosty. I asked her if she was okay, asked her to tell me about it. All she said was that if Sticks was messing with her just to mess with her she would've been pissed, but since I said stuff happened then stuff happened and that's okay. I still remember her text, "I'm not the female freaking out here." She was talking about Smiles. Smiles broke up with me for another guy, and then couldn't stand the fact that I was with another girl.
Everyone likes me, but I don't know what they see. How could anyone look up to me? I just pretend to know what I'm doing. I'm a terrible person. I'm Captain, but I'm confused