Insomniac Party

8 Sticks 8

I'm really confused. Smiles is with Lips now, I think. Things have been getting messier and messier since Blink broke up with her. She doesn't talk to me as much. I think she's mad at me. I don't know if I should talk to her more or just leave it be.
"Hey Sticks, where's Captain?" Frosty has suddenly appeared.
"He's over there," I tell her, even though I know he's right behind me she just can't see him. She turns around to go look in the direction I pointed. "Wait Frosty, come back," I say laughing. "He's right here."
She looks at Captain next to me, "hi," she practically whispers. I've never seen her so nervous.
"Hi," Captain replies. Captain, Frosty, and I talk for a little while. She seems really held back and nervous. It's odd, she usually has such confidence. They're both avoiding the other's eyes. When Captain's bus arrives Frosty makes a small movement forward to hug him, but Captain steps back.
As soon as Captain walks away Frosty spins around to leave. "Well that was exceedingly awkward," she mutters under her breath.
"Hey Frosty," I stop her, "I've been meaning to talk to you."
"Yes?" She asks. This whole interaction has been much less hostile than usual.
"Should I talk to Smiles more?"
"Yeah. She wasn't talking to you because she thought that you were mad, but there was just a misunderstanding. You should talk to her, and you should treat her right," her eyes dropped, and she suddenly looked so sad, "when someone thinks so little of themselves that they'd give themselves away for free it's hard not to take advantage even if you don't mean to. I slipped. I know what it's like to be prey and yet I took from her just to please myself. I wasn't thinking about her as a person and that's just an awful thing to do, because she is. She is a beautiful person and she is worth so much more. Yes. Talk to her more and treat her right."
"Okay," I reply, not really sure how to respond to the little rant that just went on. Frosty turns and walks away quickly.
I don't wait until I get home to talk to Smiles, I text her right there. Once I'm home I try to figure things out but I just can't seem to make sense of what just went on. I'm trying to be strong, but I've lost control of everything.
Smiles is in front of me. She's being assaulted by all these guys. I'm running in slow motion. I'm trying to fight them off and rescue her, but I can't. I wake up in a sweat and punch my pillow. Why am I never enough? Even in my dreams I'm not enough.