Insomniac Party

6 Captain 6

I don't know who I am. I hate where I am. I have learned nothing. Whatever. I'll get over it. But inside I'm not, inside I actually do feel lost and clueless. I'm floundering upstream without a raft or an oar or a plan or even friggin clothes.
Life this week was rough. I love talking to Frosty though, that was nice. I was supposed to meet her this week. Sudden change of plans. Probably for the better though, because I've been talking to Beanie after school...the same time Frosty would've come to meet me. That would've been awkward. Hey, might be good for me. Let all those people think I could get such a beautiful girl. But then again it might make the whole situation bad. Besides, if Frosty showed up I wouldn't be thinking about how to use her to get Beanie. I'd be thinking "kiss her" or "wow" if I could think anything at all. She's so beautiful. I need to talk to her in person so I can see if she really is as good as she seems. Man. If she is as good as she seems. If we could see each other more often. She'd be so great to be with. She'd be so great to hold. To look into her eyes. To play around with. But that's not going to happen. Why let myself even believe?
She talked to Smiles this week. Apparently she actually confronted her. I'm proud. Smiles and Sticks are having more drama. Smiles needs to get over herself. She's so selfish. She's not the only one with problems, but she goes around taking her problems out on everyone else.
I hear my alarm go off. It's three AM. Time to start the day. Get in the car for fourteen hours and drive to my cousins house. Oh what fun.
My family clearly doesn't belong here. Every other aunt and uncle stayed home; everyone knows everyone. My mom moved away at eighteen. She never looked back. So I'm standing in the middle of my cousin's bedroom feeling like a total outcast.
My aunt and uncle are pretty strict. I haven't been able to get to my phone all day. By ten o'clock I can finally text Frosty. "You better be freaking beautiful for all the risk I go through to text you" I tease. She just sends me a smiley face. Ugh, I want to meet her. The more I think about it the more I worry. I need to meet her.
"Speaking of which," I begin, "sorry I can't text a girl I have never met. I was okay with it at first because it seemed like we would meet soon, but it's becoming increasingly clear that that's unlikely to happen."
"It's not like I haven't tried," she says, "I understand. I guess I'm just asking for a little more time."
I don't want to lose her. She seems like such a great girl. "I know you've tried. For that I am grateful. I'm not blaming you. I apologize for being idle."
"It hasn't been all your fault things have come up. I'll make something happen," she's trying hard.
"I know you will. I don't just quit on people. I give a warning. This is that warning," I explain.
"If you are ever sitting around doing nothing and want to meet, just give me a time and a place and I will do every thing in my power to be there. You might spontaneously do things for people, but I do. That's just who I am," she's reaching out. I feel bad. I'm just being honest, and she understands, but she's fighting hard. Why is she working so hard for me?
I put my phone down and let darkness settle over me. It's been a long day. I fall into a sleep filled with thoughts of a short haired girl with the sexiest eyes.