Insomniac Party

3 Smiles 3

Haha. This is such a mess. Blink has his hands through my hair. Our lips meet so passionately. I can feel his breath and get a high off his electricity. His deep blue eyes are so beautiful. His bare chest is tasty. His shaggy blond hair; I reach up and pull the beanie off his head. He pulls back a minute and looks at me with curiosity," ready to loosen up a bit?"
I let the flirtatious beast inside take over. Staring at him with so much intensity. Then lean in again, mouth open. He sees it. We meet in a rushing tangle. He's experienced; his lips, his tongue, his hands. They all know what they're doing.
When it seems our mouths couldn't go any further his hands meet my waist. Pulling me down onto the bed in his room. We pull away. He just holds me, knowing he can't get away with too much more. I have standards. I'm a good girl.
We stay there for a nice moment before I hear my phone vibrate. Blink gets up to get it for me. I smile giddily as I watch the grooves in his back, trying to memorize them. He turns around and immediately I know something is wrong.
He looks crushed. "What," he stammers, "what's this?" I take the phone that he's offering to me.
It's from Sticks. Oh gosh no. Oh goodness please no. "Can I lay you like I did last night?"
I know that Sticks is joking. Well I think he is. I don't know, there was something before and now we are just friends. But Blink doesn't know. He knows that we are close. If he went through my texts with him from the night before he'd see us talking about being intimate. We didn't mean it though. We were messing around.
"Blink, please, you know I would never..." I'm pleading with him, but it's too late. The damage is done. I've gone and demolished someone else.
"You would never?" He says accusingly. The pain in his face gathering into clouds of rage, "I'm sorry what about when you were with Sticks before? You had Captain secretly then didn't you? And with Captain, it was Dreams. Now Dreams left you and gosh I was so stupid to think you would change. I was so stupid to think I could just love you through it and show you that these things can work!" His beautiful hand covers his mouth. That wonderful, passionate mouth that was just kissing me. His blue eyes rumble. "Get out," he whispers.
"Blink please," I whisper back, but I know it's hopeless. I'm a lost cause, no one will ever be able to stay with me. I grab my stuff and head for the door. Tears blurring my vision as I walk to my car.
I drive home. It's late so no one questions it when I come in and head straight for bed. Not like I could fall asleep with all my guilt chasing me. It hunts me down in the middle of the night and beats be over the head. I don't sleep anymore. I look for ways to feel less pain. I'm Smiles because I'm so utterly broken, and it's just to late to fix me. Smiling is the only defense I have left.