If I Let You Know... [N.H.]

27. tRuTh

I don't know everything about One Direction. That doesn't make me a directionator though. It makes me a fan, just that. I became interested in them because of their music, not because of their looks or their background stories.
Yeah, looks help, and background stories make sympathising easier, but it's the music that keeps everything going. And I like the fact that I put their music first, because that helped me discover who they were when I met them at the same time they discovered who I was.

Everything I am about to write is completely true and probably my twitter account will be shut down for writing this, but I feel I owe it to you and I am hoping somebody will read it before it is removed and it will make a difference.

It was management's idea for Niall to date a fan.
I am not fully aware of how that fan ended up being me, but truth is Niall and I were not dating for three months when I was introduced as his girlfriend; specially because I had only known him for a little longer than two weeks. Niall was not happy about it and even though it may sound weird I was not happy about it either.

"Why did you do it then?" You are all probably asking yourselves.
I did not do it for the money. I did not want to get paid for doing what I was doing and I have not received a single penny. The reason I did what I did was because I wanted to meet the boys. I had an idea of them in my mind and I wanted to know if I was right about it.
I wanted to know who they really were.

The rest of the boys were not happy either. As you all know Niall is like the little boy of the band (although he is not the youngest); and having him angry with management's decision made all the boys dislike me even when they had not met me yet.

It was Mister Harry Edward Styles the first one who actually decided to give me a chance. And according to him (his words, not mine) it was the best decision he could have made. He stayed backstage after a soundcheck to have lunch with me; and for the first time since I had arrived, somebody showed a little interest in me. Next came Louis and then Liam, both invited me separately to do something together so they could get to know me. They were also surprised in a good way by the kind of person I was.

Niall could not believe how everybody seemed to suddenly get along with me; and I cannot say that he started showing interest, but he stopped looking at me with that pissed and distant look.
Zayn was the only one who did not want to get to know me. He thought, as most of the fans did, that I was there for what Niall was, and not who he was. Thinking about Niall as his younger brother, he tried to protect him from who from his point of view was somebody who only wanted to take advantage of him.
After a couple of days of Harry, Louis and Liam insisting, Zayn finally gave up and talked to me. Next thing I knew was we were all going out to have dinner after a concert and Zayn was asking me out loud questions about myself he already knew the answer to, so Niall could hear them.

That day, almost a month after I had met him for the first time, Niall discovered that the girl he was supposedly going out with was not English but Spanish, was studying Medicine, had played the piano since she was three and shared more musical taste and other interests with him that he could have ever imagined.
After that day our relationship started getting real. I am not talking about our relationship as a couple, but our relationship as friends. Just like that, little by little, we built a friendship in less than a week that was more powerful than some friendships I have had since I was little.

The reason I have written all this now is because I wanted to be completely honest with you. I wanted you all to know the story behind this relationship before saying what I am about to say:

I love Niall.

I am not saying this lightly, I really mean it. After two months of fictional relationship I have discovered who he really is and it is that person I have fallen in love with; not Niall Horan from One Direction, the world's most famous boy band; but Niall, a boy from Mullingar who promised not to disappoint the judges, and ended up not disappointing millions of people. A boy who is carefree, but actually cares about everybody before himself.
I am sorry if by dating me he has disappointed some of you but I want you to know, as cheesy and stupid as this may sound, that he loves you all so much it sometimes makes me jealous. It is because of you he is living what was just a dream he had when he headed to Croke Park Stadium for an audition six years ago.

This time, our relationship is for real. Or at least it will be before somebody sends me home for revealing too much confidential information.
To all Niall girls I promise you that the time I get to spend with him I will be keeping an eye on this Crazy Mofo and I will do my best to make him happy, because every time he is sad a bunny dies somewhere (he told me that, no joke).
I know receiving hate will be a part of this experience but please, every time you send hate to me or to anyone else, just think for a moment how would you feel in that situation; and if that does not make you stop, I do not know what else could.

To all the fans who have been with the boys from the start, to those who have just arrived, thank you for supporting them through thick and thin. It really means the world to me, and to them. I am sure you were there when I was not, and if there ever comes a day when I am not around anymore, I am certain that you will still be. A billion of thanks would never be enough for that.

This twit-long is much longer than I expected but I hope it makes everything clear. I know this will get me into a lot of trouble but as I said at the beginning I feel I have lied to all of you and because lying is something I have never ever liked, I had to write this down hoping it would make a difference.
It has made it on me.

Love,

Victoria

Sam finishes reading out loud and then lifts up his sight from the screen. I hold the stare, not really knowing how is he going to react. He sighs and closes his eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye I spot Zayn peering inside the room through the gap in the half-closed door. Aren't they supposed to be doing the soundcheck?

"Well, lady, what do you have to say about this?" Sam asks, looking at me.

Suddenly, Zayn turns around and runs away. I shake my head and look at Sam.

"Nothing"

"Nothing?" he repeats.

"I think I've said everything I had to say. I know it may not be right but I'll accept the consequences of my actions"

"Great" he answers seriously "Because this action has no good consequences"

Silence fills the room, but not for long.

"Do you have the slightest idea of what you have done?" Sam doesn't even give me time to answer; "This is not about you, Victoria! There are thousands of people behind everything we do! And you can't just post a bloody tweet hoping to change all those fans' opinions by exposing confidential information! And not just any confidential information, but this kind of information! Fuck! Do you know how this will affect us? Not just the band, but the whole management corporation! What did I tell you the first day we met? Do not bring attention to yourself unless it is fucking given to you! Why did you have to do this? Why couldn't you keep quiet and deal with hate like the rest of the girlfriends do?"

"Because she's not like the rest of them" someone answers from the door.