If I Let You Know... [N.H.]

27. tRuTh

I don't know everything about One Direction, and I think that has become clear by now. 

I became interested in them because of their music, not because of their looks or their background stories. Yeah, looks help, and background stories make sympathising easier, but it's the music that keeps everything going. 

And I like the fact that I put their music first, because that helped me discover who they were when I met them at the same time they discovered who I was.

Everything I am about to write is completely true and a part of me feels I owe it to you and I am hoping somebody will read it before it is removed and it will make a difference.

Niall and I were not dating for three months when I was introduced as his girlfriend. At that time, we had barely known each other for a little longer than two weeks.

I will not get into the who, when and why it was decided that I should become part of Niall Horan's life and therefore One Direction's, but I will say there was a moment in time when that opportunity was presented to me, and I said yes to it.

I wanted to meet the boys. 

And I know, if you are a fan of them, you'll probably be angry at first, but if you stop and think about it, you'll be able to understand why I did it.

I was just happy pretending, getting to know all of them, learning to enjoy this lifestyle. And deep inside, I longed for a chance to actually show myself as I was and hopefully become friends with one or, luckily, all of them.

I was lucky enough to experience that wish becoming a reality: first Harry, then Liam, Louis and Zayn... they slowly opened up and started bonding; not just them, but the whole tour crew and friends... and eventually Niall as well.

It was not only until about a month after I had met him for the first time that Niall discovered that the girl he was supposedly going out with was not English but Spanish, was studying Medicine, had played the piano since she was three and shared more musical taste and other interests with him that he could have ever imagined. 

After that day, our relationship started getting real. I am not talking about our relationship as a couple, but our relationship as friends. Little by little, we built a friendship that was more powerful than some friendships I have had since I was little. I guess spending 24/7 with each other could have that effect on people. 

And just like my friendship with the rest of the boys, my friendship with Niall grew as well. But it grew differently, until it turned out to be exactly what you all thought it was since the beginning.

This time, our relationship is for real and I hope you can find it in you to understand and respect that.

I know receiving hate will be a part of this experience but please, every time you send hate to me or to anyone else, just think for a moment how would you feel in that situation; and if that does not make you stop, I do not know what else could.

To all the fans who have been with the boys from the start, to those who have just arrived, thank you for supporting them through thick and thin. It really means the world to me, and to them. 

I am sure you were there when I was not, and if there ever comes a day when I am not around anymore, I am certain that you will still be. A billion of thanks would never be enough for that.

This twit-long is much longer than I expected but I hope it makes everything clearer. 

I had to write this down hoping it would make a difference.

It has made it on me.

Love,

        Victoria

Sam finishes reading out loud and then lifts up his sight from the screen. I hold the stare, not really knowing how is he going to react. He sighs and closes his eyes. 

Out of the corner of my eye I spot Zayn peering inside the room through the gap in the half-closed door. Aren't they supposed to be doing the soundcheck?

"Well, what do you have to say about this?" Sam asks, looking at me.

I shake my head and look at Sam. I sigh.

"Nothing"

"Nothing?" he repeats.

"I think I've said everything I had to say" I say calmly, although I feel my heart racing inside my chest, "I know it may not be right, but I'll accept the consequences of my actions"

"Great" he answers seriously, "Because this action has no good consequences"

Silence fills the room, but not for long.

"Do you have the slightest idea of what you have done?!" Sam doesn't even give me time to answer; "This is not about you, Victoria! There are thousands of people behind everything we do! And you can't just post a bloody tweet hoping to change all those fans' opinions by telling them everything that goes on! This kind of information! Fuck! Do you know how this will affect us? Not just the band, but the whole management corporation! What did I tell you the first day we met? Do not bring attention to yourself unless it is fucking given to you! Why did you have to do this? Why couldn't you keep quiet and deal with hate like the rest of the girlfriends do?"

"Because she's not like the rest of them" someone answers from the door.