you are not that different

More than sex

"Now we've already talked briefly about you being h - e - t - e - r - o - s - e - x - u - a - l ..."

She hesitates again, looking uncertainly at Anton.

"... Can I say it like that? You nod, ok, that you like women. Now I can imagine, for example, if you have a fetish like, I don't know, S&M, if you kind of prefer that, that then, maybe during sex you quickly realize you're into harder sex. With women, on the other hand, I don't know how you get there and find out about it in the first place. Can you briefly explain when you realized for yourself that the woman thing is your thing?"

What a clever question: when does our sexuality actually develop? And how refreshing to ask it like that, in connection with the very ordinary, of which we think we already know the answer so well that we don't even have to ask anymore. As I experience it myself, as a diaper fetishist, it could well be that this development happened at exactly the same times as it does for any other "normal" person without a fetish. For my part, I can't recall any event or decision that led to the fact that diapers can give me such pleasant feelings. It has always been like that. For as long as I can remember. I didn't have a choice at all. Neither did heterosexual people choose to find people of the opposite sex sexually attractive.

In a brochure of the Brandenburg Youth Welfare Office on the subject of "Child Sexuality - Notes for Professional Pedagogical Handling" it is stated: "Sexual development is a part of personality development and begins with birth."

Again, because this is important: sexual development begins immediately after birth, not during puberty. And to anticipate a point we will encounter later: Sexuality is so much more than just the sexual act that two people perform with each other. I personally go so far as to say that, along with hunger and thirst, sexuality is the essential drive of all human activity, expressed at so many more times than just during the few minutes in bed.

The brochure goes on to say: "When it comes to sexuality, many people initially think only of adults and adolescents, but not of children or even infants. On the one hand, this is because the myth of the "innocent" child is still in effect: According to it, children are supposed to grow up unencumbered by sexual feelings, thoughts and actions. Accordingly, entering the world of the sexual means the loss of innocence. The myth is part of an anti-pleasure sexual morality that associates sexuality with guilt and indecency and denies its positive significance for the joy of life and human identity. Second, many people lack knowledge about infantile sexuality. Sexuality is usually equated with sex, but sex is something other than the colloquial shorthand for sexuality."

Let's see what Anton has to say about this.

"It started partly in childhood, that I experimented a bit ..."

What do you mean by "experimented"?" Sophie interrupts him immediately to find out more. Now it's getting exciting. That's what the listeners want to hear. She was trained as a moderator to ask such questions.

"I found girls somehow exciting, pretty and attractive. Looked after them and at the fair in a carousel in our village I kissed a girl for the first time. Then, when I was 14 or 15, I secretly looked at pictures of naked women. And then it started relatively quickly. That was my thing, it was fun, I was interested in it. And then, with puberty, it went so far that I noticed that it triggered completely different feelings. With my girlfriend at the time, I only had sex for a while. But that then always went very quickly to orgasm and then there was such a cut.

"While you were with your girlfriend?"

"Exactly, yes, I then had my climax with my girlfriend ..."

"You and her as a couple or with others too?"

"Always just the two of us."

"Ah! Ok, hmhm."