𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇: 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

S7 • E7 - Bon Voyage

Fade into South, Alexis, Donut, Simmons, Sarge, Grif, Lopez, and Caboose. Everyone, except Ash standing outside the Red Base by the Warthog and Alexis's motorcycle.

South: "Alright. Theta managed to lock in the coordinates to our HUDs and the warthog. So we should be set."

Sarge: "Ok. Team, get these water cans cleaned up while we're gone. How much water do you need to drink, Donut?"

Donut: "I was in a desert! Don't judge me."

Grif: "Maybe we should learn from that and bring some water ourselves."

Alexis: "Already done."

Sarge: "Nonsense. It'll just slow us down."

Grif: "Slow us down more than dehydration? Or death... by dehydration?"

Sarge: "I don't know, smartass. Let's say we try! I'll kill you, and then I'll dry you out! Who wants Grif-Jerky?"

Caboose: "Ah, no thanks, we already had donuts for breakfast."

Grif/Wade: "...Wait, what?"

Sarge: "All right, let's get going. Everybody packed?"

South: Ready to go."

Alexis: "Same here."

Caboose: "Yep."

Shadow: "Where's your stuff Caboose?"

Caboose: "Oh, I only carry a washcloth and six toothbrushes."

Grif: "I'm gonna assume that makes sense to you."

Caboose: "Yeah, it does."

Grif: "Yeah, I thought so. We'll just go ahead and leave that one alone."

South: "Agreed."

Cut to a large pile of luggage.

Sarge: "Grif! Why'd you pack so much?"

Grif: "Me? I only did one duffle."

Sarge: "Well, what are all these cases?"

Donut: "Those are mine!"

Sarge: "Donut, you're going with us?"

Donut: No, but I wasn't gonna let you guys have all the packing fun to yourselves! That's the best part about going on vacation. I mean, beside airport security's full-cavity search—

Grif: "Time to go!" (heads towards the jeep)

Sarge: "Lopez, I want you, Wade and Shadow to take good care of Simmons and Donut while we're gone."

Lopez: "¿Nosotros?" [Us?]

Sarge: "Feed them every day."

Lopez: "¿Comen Sin Plomo, o Súper Sin Plomo?" [Do they eat Unleaded? Or Super Unleaded?]

Sarge: "Exactly. And don't forget to let them out in the yard every now and then."

Donut: "I love yard-time—"

Simmons: "Goodbye!"

Sarge: "If we don't make it back from the mission, bury me and Grif as far away as possible. I don't want to get any corpse cooties."

Grif: "Why do you assume I'll be dead?"

Silence.

Grif: "...Never mind."