𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇: 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Red vs. Blue: Relocated • part 3

Tilt up to Grif on top of New Red Base.

Sarge: "Grif, we're gonna need you to clear that blockage."

Grif: "How? These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?"

Sarge: "Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength."

Grif: "Yeah? Well, what about people in situations where they really don't give a fuck? What kind of powers do they get?"

Sarge: "Grif!"

Wade: "If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade."

Grif: "Um, is that safe?"

Shadow: "None of this is safe. You're gonna start analyzing now?"

Sarge: Here, Grif, take one of mine.

Sarge throws a grenade at Grif and misses. The grenade explodes when it falls down and blows a crate away.

Simmons: "Sarge, you pulled the pin out!"

Sarge: "Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in it?"

Wade/Shadow: "Everyone!"

Sarge: (ignores them) "Hey, Grif, catch this one."

Sarge throws another grenade at Grif and misses.

Grif: "No! I'm not catching those."

Sarge: "Dammit, I can't reach."

The grenade rolls down the side of the base and explodes very close to Sarge, Wade and Shadow and Simmons. The three same reds back up from the explosive.

Simmons: "Aah! "

Shadow: "Cut it out!"

Grif: "Yeah! Let me get back to work up here."

A rocket flies past Grif.

Sarge: "Ya catch that one?"

Wade: (Takes rocket launcher) "Give me that!"

Grif: "Okay, here we go. (Throws grenade) Oh shit! Where do I go when the grenade is..."

An enormous explosion throws Grif into the air. Debris rains down on Simmons, Wade, Shadow and Sarge.

Simmons: "Oh no, he's falling."

Sarge: "I see that!"

Simmons: "Should we try to catch him?"

Shadow: "Of course!"

Sarge: "Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us."

Simmons: "What do we do?"

Sarge: "I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win."

Wade: "You used to jump out of ships. Give him some advice!"

Sarge: "Oh, right. Grif, you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorganized!"

Shadow: "Advice on how to land!"

Sarge: "Oh, right. Grif, what you wanna do is..."

After an incredible amount of screaming, Grif hits the ground as the sane three reds look at him. Regardless, Sarge continues to talk.