𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇: 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

S7 • E9 - My House, From Here

Fade in to Grif crashing the jeep into the Elephant and Alexis, Ash, and South skidding to stop next to Grif without crashing.

Sarge: "Aw, dammit Grif! Lookit what you did now! You busted up a brand new jeep."

Grif: "Me?"

South: "You were the idiots that started setting off mines."

Sarge: "Well, I managed to get out there and not get hit by anything!"

Grif: "Because you jumped on the roof of the car! That's cheating."

Sarge: "No, it's called strategy!"

Grif: "Well, your "strategy" broke the jeep. So don't go blaming me. And the blue guy's dead too—how are we gonna explain that?"

The intercom announcer, C.T., runs out to see them.

C.T.: "What the hell! What were you thinking?"

Sarge: "We don't need to explain why he died, Grif. We're Reds! Killing Blues is our business. And today, business is good."

Grif: "But we didn't kill him! He stepped on a mine and blew up. And he's the reason that we're on this stupid mission. So now what?"

Sarge: "Hm. I see your point. So let us have a moment of silence in honor of the dead Blue guy. Bow your head."

C.T.: "Hey, are you listening to me?"

Grif: "Do you mind? We're having a moment of silence. Show some respect."

C.T.: "What?"

Ash: "Just, roll with it."

A requiem plays in the background.

Sarge: "Dear Lord, we thank you for taking another Blue back to Heaven today. Or rather not Heaven, but whatever fiery pit you send Blues to so they can suffer in eternity. You should've taken Grif. ...But you didn't. Again. Not sure why, it would've been easy! Those mine things are everywhere! But I guess you know what you're doing."

Caboose is heard screaming from above. The camera zooms out enough to catch Caboose falling from the sky and crashing nearby the Elephant. He rises, as if nothing happened.

Caboose: "Wow. Now that was a big explosion."

Grif: "Blue guy's back."

Caboose: (runs around to the Reds) "I was really high. Did anyone get a picture?"

Ash: "We didn't Caboose."

Sarge: "And now you brought him back. And Grif's still here! I hate to criticize, but you could've had him land on Grif and squash him! That would've been easy! Just a note; you can take it or leave it, like I said it's not really in my place to criticize. (stops bowing head) Okay, the end, amen."

C.T.: "...What the fuck is wrong with these people?"

South: "We wish we knew..."

C.T. froze for a moment at the sound of South's voice but kept their composure.

Sarge: "Whoa. Now who are you?"

C.T.: "Who am I? Who are you? I'm supposed to be here. You guys are accessing an area on lockdown."

Sarge: "Lockdown?"

C.T.: "This is a restricted dig site, what are you doing here?"

Caboose: "Oh, uh, we were just looking for, uh..."

Sarge: "Oh, we're just passing through on the way to meet up with the rest of our squad."