random things

18

what's it like where you are?

how's it like to be free?
can you feel pain there?
do you listen to music?

remember that time we listened to bodak yellow in art class? we knew all the words... well i'm not sure if that's completely true, but that's how i remember it.

oh! do you remember that one time i sent you "say you won't let go" by james arthur and when i actually asked you not to let go?
i know you kind of let go, but i hope you didn't let go of me.
i don't think i'll ever be able to let go of you.

you know i'm not the same anymore, right?
i changed...
i'm still that annoying girl though.
i'm still a kid, angel.
you're a kid too.

it's horrible that you left so soon, but i have a feeling you're okay now.
also, thank you for staying by my side.
i mean, i hope i'm not crazy...
i just feel like you're here.
i hope that's true.
i really want that to be true.
you know what sucks?

you didn't give me one of those hugs before you left.
it's okay though, but those hugs can't be replaced.

i love you, you know?
never stopped loving you.
we just weren't talking often...

i'm sorry for not checking on you.
i wouldn't have been able to make what happened not happen... but i would've been there for you.
i'm so sorry i wasn't there for you.
i can imagine how scary it all was.
you're better now, right?

i miss you here, but you probably belong where you are now.

can you fly though? it would be so cool if you can fly.
then you could touch those basketball hoops without anyone's help.

you know i always have so many questions so... do you have blue lemonade there?
if you do, you can get your own now instead of drinking mine. i didn't really mind you drinking it, i just had to act like it so our friends don't annoy us.

do you sit on those fluffy white clouds?

do you listen to my playlists with me sometimes?

it would be so cool if you get to watch from where the stars are.

i can't lie, i wish you were here right now.

i wear that necklace you gave me... back when we were clueless and apparently liking each other.

you know how our teacher told us we'll be able to invite you to our prom even though you moved away and left our class?
it's still like that. you can come if you want, you know?
won't be the same without you.

i was kind of planning on going with you... i thought you were going to take me to prom.

it was always you and i, no?

i don't even know what i should say right now.

i love you so much.

i miss you even more.

i'll see you soon my angel.
well, not really soon. i'm going to stay here for a bit more... but i'll see you when i fall asleep.

thank you for the memory.