ZER

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

ZER:

The pain is unbearable.

It has been unbearable for a while. The fear that has been growing inside of me for days, along with panic that seems to keep rising and rising at each and every morning.

Her health has been declining rapidly.

I was thinking about going to another planet, asking for some help to keep my wife alive, but I know she is too weak to travel in and out of the planet. Also, I have a fear that they might use her against me, and even deem her as a traitor and kill her on the spot.

I look at my frail woman lying weakly on the bed. I'm suffering seeing her so weak, it breaks me every time I look at her laying down on our bed with no energy, or ability other than to open her eyes and speak very few words. She usually will ask to see our children, she will open her eyes for a while to see our babies, gather all her strength to rises her hand to touch them. Even those simple actions always leave her exhausted and weaker.

She has lost a lot of weight in the past weeks. Her once full, healthy face is now hollow, it scares me how fast she ages, it was only yesterday I held her tight to get inside Relish's atmosphere, and now...

I swallow a lump of fear down my throat. I remind myself to be strong, I cannot let her sense my fear, and distress. I have to be strong for her, to keep her going, to keep her fighting.

I have never been so terrified in my life. Many times I was sent to suicide wars, many times I endured a lot of time being tortured, even my training in my younger times was brutal. It doesn't matter how powerful I'm, I still no match against nature. If nature asks her soul to comes back... My grips on the chair's arms tighten. No. I cannot be without her, she cannot go while our children haven't turned one year old yet.

And I look at her again.

All of her hair had turned white and her skin wrinkled everywhere, it looks as if she is... wilting. Her eyesight went bad, and then her hearing, she started to have slight tremor on both hands, and she became very, very slow. One day when she woke up I noticed she couldn't stand up straight anymore. Her appetite decreasing drastically, and suddenly she cannot hold our babies anymore.

I recall a lot of time she looks at me in sadness, asking my forgiveness for aging faster than me that I have to care for her. I don't care. I'd rather care for her for the rest of my life instead of the alternative.

I stand up and walk towards her side of the bed. Kate is lying down with a tube in her mouth and on her nose. Her body is too weak she cannot eat for herself anymore. Her body is so weak she needs help to keep breathing. My inside clenched tightly thinking about that fact.

I sit down at the edge of the bed and lightly brush my thumb over the skin on her cheek. My heart beats painfully slow looking at her so weak and... old. I'm terrified knowing every moment could be the last moment. That any moment now, she could take her last breath and... I will be left alone to live my life without her presence, without her love, without her voice, without her touch, without her kiss. I will be what I was before she came into my life; lonely, and miserable.

Kate's eyes flutter slightly, telling me she feels me close.

My wife. I whisper to her. Please tell me what do I need to do. I can't bear the thought of you leaving me. I beg her. I have been begging for days now.

Her green eyes opened and instantly they found me. Oh, how much do I love her eyes. I lean down to give a kiss on her forehead. She closes her eyes as soon as my lips are on her skin, I can feel her tears rolling down her cheeks, wet my hand where my finger keeps brushing her skin gently.

"Promise me..." She says weakly, "that you will take care of our children."

Shhh... you'll help me take care of them, love. You will be here with me to see them take their first walk, say their first words, you will be right next to me when they found their elements, you will be here with me.

The weight of the universe seems to be dropped on my shoulders. My heart is painfully beating inside my chest. With her shaky hands, she holds onto mine.

"I wish I could," she breathe out, "but I can't, husband..."

Yes, you can, and you will. Just like when you bravely gave birth to our children, you'll be victorious. I'll give everything, anything, just so I can keep her longer with me.

Kate's hands are warm against my skin, but I was ice cold. I'm scared, I'm terrified, somehow the future doesn't seem bright anymore. Somehow things have lost their beauty and appeal, and I left in the center of a dark, cold world, full of pain.

"Promise me, you'll take care of our children. Don't... don't come to find me, Zer, stay here, stay here with them, they need you,"

I need you, wife. I'm nothing without you, don't take yourself away from me, you must keep fighting, I can't live without you. If I could cry, I would have been crying for days.

"I can't husband, I'm so tired of fighting." She said apologetically.

Don't say that, don't you love me? Do it for me, wife.

She smiles and moves her hands onto my face. "I had a great life, High General Zer from Tzar, leader and the first man of Universe United Battalion, Ruler of the Exile Galaxy, Master of the 17 years war, Protector of the Relish, Gatherer of the last Tar-Zenirian, Father of my children." She whispers as she holds onto my face. She turns her head slowly towards me and pressed her lips to mine.

I savor this kiss more than I savor her other kisses because deep down inside I know, this might be her last kiss.

"Would you lay down with me?" She asks me.

I nod and walk to the other side of the bed, I climb under the blanket and gently lay her on my chest, carefully, trying not to disturb her tubes, I hold her close to my heart. My whole body shudders from the fear of tomorrow, if she survives to see tomorrow.

"To have and to hold, from the first day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish, until death does us apart."

It takes my whole strength not to shake her mad and demand her to stay and keep fighting for me. It takes my whole strength to stay still listening to her pairing vow without destroying half of this planet. It takes my whole strength not to run to the kitchen, get a knife and beg her to take me with her too. I love you, Katherine Jones from planet Earth. I have to tell her, one more time.

"I love you too, High General Zer from Tzar." She replies quietly.

I can tell that she fell asleep instantly, but I couldn't even wink. It doesn't take long for me to feel exactly when the rise and fall of her chest stopped, and I lie next to her unable to do anything. My whole body shakes as I hold hers tight. I yell out an anguished groan holding her lifeless body against me.

She came to me unexpectedly, and she walked out taking half of my soul, and my whole heart with her.

The moment she died, marks the beginning of me feeling dead inside. I love you Katherine, and I will always love you for the rest of my life.