ZER

THIRTY

I don't know when did Hir leave, I didn't know when the sun went down, I cry, and I cry, and I cry for as long as I can remember, the sorrow I feel inside me is eating me alive.

I fell asleep on the floor, when I wake up in the middle of the night I cry some more. I can't feel my eyes and half of my face when I have no tears left I let myself drifted away from here, but everywhere my mind goes all I find is emptiness, a void that I know only he can fill.

I cannot live without him.

I love him.

When Hir comes the week after I'm nothing but bones and skin, I barely eat, and I barely sleep. When she stands in front of me I can only shake my head, trying to deny the fact that today is the day.

I cannot.

I'm not ready.

I will never be ready.

"Katherine," Hir calls my name. "It's time."

I want to hit her, I want to yell at her to say such words to me. Doesn't she know how that makes me feel? Doesn't she knows that there will be nothing left for me if he... if he...

No.

I have to drag my feet to follow her, Hir keeps glancing at me in concern. The ride from the hospital to wherever they are take me is a long one. Hir is kind enough to bring me a set of clean clothes, cotton pants, and longs arms blouse, both are in soft blue, the color is not Zer's choice of color, he wouldn't...

My throat feels dry as tears going down my cheeks.

"Why?" Hir asks me. "Why you give yourself to him? Why can't you be happy with yourself?"

I look at her and give her one sad smile. "I can be happy with myself. I just don't want to." I tell her in a low voice.

"Why?"

"Because I got a taste of what it feels like to be with him, and it was so much better than being all by myself. You might think I'm the disgrace for all the female kind, but only if you feel the emotions he brings whenever he is around me. He has my heart but I have his. He owns my life but I own his. He captured my soul but I captured his. He possesses my mind but I possess his. You might think he takes everything away from me, but no, because now I'm more than I was before. I have him, all of him, every part of him, the good and the bad, the one he knows and he doesn't, the before me and the after me, no boundaries and no questions, I have him. Together I know we can do anything, as long as we have each other, as long as I have him beside me, the world can throw the worst to us, and I wouldn't complain, just... as long as... I have him." I cannot hold back my tears as I speak the last words, Hir doesn't say anything else after that, which I'm very thankful for, I don't think can manage to speak.

We arrive at a square building. There is no window in sight, before entering our vehicle had to go through five security gates, each one is taller than the last one.

"We're here," Hir tells me as the doors open. With shaky legs, I stand up. I see dozens of guards heavily armed around us, every four meters there will be two guards. "We need to go straight to the court hall." She informs us.

We walk some more until we arrive in front of a big double door. Four Tzarian open the door and we walk in. The room is full of people, I see not only Tzarian but also some other race I cannot identify. I see Lor among them and his face is absent of any emotion.

Hir and I take a sit on the left side, the first row. The room is quiet as we walk, all eyes are on me but I can only feel the pending death hugging me.

"All rise for the High Councils." A voice booms and everyone on their feet, their hand fisted on their chest as I see five old Tzarians with their white clothing walk in.

They are the ones who want to execute my husband.

Suddenly I feel the rage consuming me, why whole body shaking if it's not for Hir's hand on my shoulder holding me still, I might have had launched myself to them and attack them. We all are seating as soon as they sit down behind the front table.

"Bring the prisoner ." One on the left instructed.

My heart stills as I hear the door opens. I stand up to get a better few, and what I see, is killing me.

Zer is chained, from under his chin down to his ankles, with hands on his back, and it is not a metal chain, the rope was bright and slender, cocooning him in light. He cannot even move his foot as he stands on top of some kind of glided metal. But what even worst is, the Tzarians surrounding him, I count there are six males with their weapon aimed at his head in a 360-degree angle. None of them are blinking, none of them are checking their surrounding, they all are focusing on Zer, and I know, one twitch and they will pull the trigger.

I sway at the horrifying sight and Hir catches me.

They walk from the door to the middle of the room, that's when his eyes catch mine. I cannot stop my tears from flowing, his eyes stay with me until his head cannot turn any further as they take him to the front of the hall.

"High General Zer, Leader and the first man of Universe United Battalion, Ruler of the Exile Galaxy, Master of the 17 years war, Protector of the Relish." The councilman in the middle starts.

"For your act of tre—"

"You haven't eaten well." Zer's voice cuts in.

I let out a loud sob as I realize he's talking to me.

"You haven't slept well." He adds.

I hear murmurs from the audience but I cannot care less.

"Silence!" Says one of the five councilmen orders. "For your act of treason—"

"What would you have named him?" Zer speaks again. "Our child." I can only see his back but I hear loud gasps around us, I guess now they know Tzarian is compatible with human. The Tzarians surrounding him are tense, the whole hall is buzzing with words after words.

"Ash," I tell him. "Short for Ashley, it's a unisex name, we didn't know the—"

"It was a boy." He cuts me. "We had a boy." Pain was thick in his voice it's hard for me to understand him.

"Ash." He repeats. "I like that."

"High General Zer if you interrupt the court one more time we will have to proceed straight to your decree."

"You will, won't you?" There is a mocking tone in his voice.

"The councils hereby declaring you, High General Zer, Leader and the first man of Universe United Battalion, Ruler of the exile galaxy, Master of the 17 years war, Protector of the Relish, for your act of treason a sentence to death."

My ears ring.

"What makes you think I'll die?" Zer speaks again. "Do you think by bounding me in this toy and placing your clowns with their weapons on my head will end me?"

The silence is eerie.

"No. That is why we take precautions." The councilman on the far right says.

I didn't understand at first but then I feel the coldness on my temple, and then I realize, Hir has a gun looking weapon pressed on my head.

"Try." Zer challenge. "I'd like to see you try." From where he is standing, there is no way he could see me being hold at gunpoint, but I know he knows what is going on.

My lips are trembling as I feel cold sweat on my forehead, but instead of pulling the trigger, Hir's face turns grey. Her body is stiff and her eyes bulging threatening to come out of their sockets any moment. It is not a pretty sight.

"For your act of jeopardizing my wife's life, I will take your life as an apology." And soon, Hir's body falls on the floor, lifeless.