ZER

TWENTY NINE

"Zer..." I call him as I keep his hand in mine, and I can feel the burning sensation raising and raising from his palm.

"How did you know?" Zer's voice is unbelievable threatening. The doctor shaking uncontrollably, he is obviously terrified for his life. "How. Did. You. Know?" Zer repeats his question, standing up, gritting each word out of his lips. I try my best to hold him down next to me, but my strength is no match compared to his.

"Y—You lost the baby."

A blazing fire burst from around him, I shield my face and my head with my arms, next thing I know, waves of yellow and blue fire burning everything and everyone on its way. I can hear high pitch screams from outside as people scatter trying to save themselves. That's when I realize the doctor is nothing but blackened burnt Tzarian and the walls around us are tumbling down, the only thing that doesn't burn is the bed I'm laying down on.

But that doesn't mean the smoke doesn't suffocate me, or the heat doesn't cook me. "Zer..." I try to call him as I fight my coughs, my eyes are burning and hurting from the amount of smoke in this room. Zer is standing still unmoving like a statue with his back on me, his body as gone blacker than black. "Zer!" I shouted and he flinches.

He turns to me with torment in his eyes. "He is dead." He whispers.

Oh, husband.

Slowly he walks towards me, dragging his feet as if they are heavier than the sun, and I catch him in time just as he falls and breaks down. No tears come out of his eyes but the wailing sounds he let out tell me how much pain is he into, and it matches the pain I feel in my chest. So we cry together, we cry for the loss of a child we never have, we cry for the happiness we never feel, why cry for the loss of hope and dreams we never think about, we cry for the love we never know.

We lost our child.

Slowly, slowly the fire is gone, the smoke disappears. On top of his hair is wet from my tears. My grip on his shoulder is as hard as my fingers can manage, but still not as hard as the grip he has on my arms. I let him mourn our loss, we are mourning for our loss, it takes us some time before we can look at each other in the eyes, and offering comfort we desperately need from each other. We give whatever is left of us to each other, hoping to put a stop to the excruciating pain we feel inside.

The sounds of footsteps echoing, at first it's a couple of Tzarian male in their combat uniform, holding their big weapons securely in both hands, then come at least a dozen others, taking their spots behind the first males, some of them are on one knee and the rest are standing with their legs apart on their fighting stance, but all of them have their weapons directed at Zer. Then we realize we are closed in.

"High General Zer. You're under arrest."

***

"Female, calm down." A Tzarian male comes near me with his hands hold up, indicating he means no harm.

But I'm too furious to see that. "You tell me, where the hell is my husband and I will calm the fuck down!" I throw drinking glass and plate to him, which he dodges easily. "The high General is being held in maximum security for committing the act of treason."

Oh this male is as good as dead.

"Take me to him, or I swear to whatever you believe in, I will make your death slow and painful." Anger boils inside me uncontrollably, my fists beside me, my shoulder haunch, and my eyes are seeing red.

"You have no access to him. Now, if you could only cooperate and tell us what was happe—"

"I will tell you only if you bring me to him."

He looks at me for a moment. "You had your chance, human." And with that, he turns around and leaves me in my hospital bed. I get so angry I throw myself to the door and start hitting it with my fist, it goes on for a while until I feel the nurses grab me and injected me with something to calm me down.

Days and night move painfully slow as I'm away from him. I miss him, I miss him terribly, and my heart is beating in pain for every second I'm away from him. Is he all right? Are they torturing him?

So when the nurse on the next shift comes with my medicines and food, I ask her something I never thought I'd ever ask. "I'd like to talk to the advocate of paired females,"

The next morning I feel anxious, and finally, in the afternoon a doctor, a nurse, and a female Tzarian walk in.

"What do you want?" Hir doesn't waste a second to go straight to the point.

"I want to see my husband," I tell her.

Her lips vanished only leaving a straight line and her bumpy brows knotted. "The High General is held under max—"

"Maximum security, bla, bla, bla. I want to see him, I want to know my rights, as a female, as a paired female. Is there any way for me to meet him?"

Hir is quiet for a moment and looks at the doctor and the nurse. "Leave us alone." She instructed and both of them excuse themselves. "Zer has committed treason." She begins.

"He did not commit treason! He has no control over his own natural force! Tzarian is Tra-Zenirian in some ways."

"He burnt the entire hospital's wing, killed 50 innocent people, and injured hundreds more."

I knew it, but hearing it brings a new pain in me. "He did not mean that." I stand in my ground.

Hir looks at me puzzled. "What did he do to you? How could you be so blind? He took ownership of your life and you do nothing but watch him?" Her hands are fisted beside her, she talks as she stating the obvious.

"I did that, only because my body is too busy owning his life." For a good minute we are in staring contest, but every minute of me here is a minute I spend without him. "Help me, please. There must be some ways... I need to see him, I need to be with him." I walk to her, holding her hands in mine. "Please,"

She takes a step back and pulls her hands from mine. "You have the right to get disclosure for his action, you have a right to request for permission to visit him, but the councils have the right to deny your request, which is highly possible."

My body shakes for the depth of despair I'm feeling.

"His sentence will be carried next week. You have the right to be there." She tells me.

"Wh—what is his sentence?" I ask in fear.

Her jaw clenches as she looks at me in... pity? "Death." She tells me.

I feel my legs giving out as I fall to the floor, my hands are shaking and I didn't realize I'm crying if not because of the wetness I feel on my face.

No, no, no, no, no, no,

This can't be it, no! Oh God no, please no!

"You have the right to have a moment in peace with him before his sentence is carried," Hir tells me again. "That will be the only time you have."