Destroyer

Chapter 14

It was a surreal feeling being back in her childhood bedroom. Joseph had really outdone himself in terms of making this place feel like a home again in his failed attempt to bribe her, to lull her into a state of complacency. Still, he had kept his word about this being a safe zone. It had been almost three hours since they arrived here in the late afternoon with no Peggie interference.

Nayeli had spent the past hour or so curled up on the bed, Jacob laying beside her. Half the time was spent elaborating on the stories she used to tell him when he'd come to visit her in her mother's shop, childhood stories about her and her brother Takoda, her time spent in California, her asshole of a father and the beauty of her mother, the failed engagement, her wanting to open a counseling center here in Hope County. The other half was her learning about his upbringing and his time in the military. The abusive father and neglectful mother, the foster homes, being put away in juvie for arson, as well as the moment of clarity he faced during his time in the military in regards to his friend Miller's death.

When Nayeli asked how Miller had died he simply replied that he did what he had to do to survive. What he had to do to see his brothers again. Nayeli didn't need a colorful imagination to piece together what had happened so she let the matter be.

They laid in silence for a few more moments, just staring at one another. Nayeli felt like she could get lost in his eyes, a shade of blue that almost had a green tint to it, like the color of the ocean in the tropics. She took in every dent, scar, and bump along his face as, from what she could assume, he took in every detail of her face as well.

"Why did you come back little lamb?" he spoke just above a whisper, almost inconceivably soft, especially to be coming from such a gruff looking man.

It was the same question he had posed to her during their reunion in the cemetery. She gave him a generic response at the time. It's a long story.

"Two reasons I suppose." she muttered, raising her hand to brush against the beard hair along his chin. "I never accepted that my mother would just-" she paused. She broke her gaze for a second, closing her eyes. When she reopened them, Jacob was still staring at her, this time with a hint of guilt. "-I just never believed she would go like that. Not without some kind of goodbye."

There was a moment of silence for the woman who sacrificed everything for her daughter. Jacob didn't have to say anything. Nayeli could tell by the look on his face, no matter how hard he attempted to hide it, he was sorry for her death and his involvement in it. The fact that he was getting so bad at hiding his emotion just showed how easy it was for him to drop his defenses around her.

"And the second reason?" he questioned.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I just-I felt like I needed to come back. In California, I just always felt that something was missing. I had no purpose being there. So, I came back. Still have no idea what my purpose is, but at this point I'm pretty sure I am the anti-christ or something according to the rest of Eden's Gate..." she mused.

Jacob watched her intensely as she spoke, leaning on every word she spoke like it was the most fascinating thing he had ever heard. She didn't know it at that moment, but he was smitten.

Jacob encompassed her face with one of his hands, his blue eyes melting into her hazel ones. "You know, everything I did, I did for my brothers...I had no other purpose but to survive to protect them. To die for them. For Joseph." He paused, afraid she'd retaliate in some way, as if he was trying to justify everything he did. "I couldn't give two shits if I died. I'm Joseph's lamb. His sacrifice if he needed me to be. I did whatever needed to be done." He paused again, giving her a moment to respond.

When she only responded with a sympathetic gaze, he continued, speaking with a hint of apprehension, "Had I known I'd feel the way I feel for you now, I'd take it all back in an instant."